My sister is a federal employee and her furlough and 20 percent pay cut officially starts on Friday. This has been a subject of much anxiety for her, to the point that she began having panic attacks.

She is single, and very much depends on all of her income. a 20 percent cut is going to hurt, even though it will only last three months.

I have helped her work through some areas where she could cut back in order to better prepare for this time, and she's done great with it.

Still, I worry. I am trying to put together a furlough care package for her, to help her stretch the dollars during this time. Mostly, by saving her on groceries and household items to free up money for bills.

I'm looking for more ideas on what would work best.

So far, I plan to include some grocery store gift cards.

I am including
-two large boxes of powdered laundry detergent
-two containers of oatmeal
-two peanut butters
-two apple butters
-two tubes of toothpaste
-two large bodywashes
-a large bottle of shampoo and conditioner
- a box of lady products (ahem)
-two large bottles of dish soap
-two boxes of spaghetti.

I pulled the above from my coupons stash. I was thinking of supplementing with:
- a large package of toilet paper
- a large package of paper towels
-microwave popcorn
-pasta sauce
-canned veggies and soups
-bags of coffee
-cooking oil
-sugar

but now I am out of ideas. Any thoughts? What would yo appreciate if you had to take a paycut for three months and we worried about making ends meet?

As per my last post, the current mortgage balance of $64,050.20 is driving me crazy!! I want to get it under 64k so badly, I'm scraping up snowflakes. So far, I have found $22.80 in ebates and other rebate checks, and I plan to empty out the change in my piggy bank. After the bills settle and clear this week, hopefully I'll have $50 or $100 to send to the balance. fingers crossed!

***
In other news, we just returned from our first full-fledged family vacation. We went to visit our friends in New Orleans, and stopped at Mammoth Cave, Dinosaur World, and the U.S. Space and Rocket Center along the way. We were gone for about 8 days.

It was a very long and tiring trip for the parents, but it was also very fun and the kids for the most part were as good as they could be. Minimal complaining in the car, etc. Not bad for 3 and 5 year olds. It was nice to see all of our friends, but it's nice to be home though.

***
The garden exploded in size while we were away. The weeds and the plants shot up. The tomatoes and dill are almost as tall as i am, and I'm no tiny thing (5' 9" if you are wondering). we also picked the last of the onions and beets and let me tell you, nothing beats home grown!

***
In other news, August 1. I can't wait! It's the day I file my last big nightmare project / assignment, and I will have a break and my new life of less stress and fewer freelance projects will begin. I'll miss the money, but I think our lives will improve tenfold once I have less on my plate and can concentrate more on my own projects, the kids, and making our daily lives better. I'm amped. Now, just to get to Aug 1 with all the work that still needs to be done!

July's mortgage payment just hit and the loan balance is now: 64,050.20.

Yes, I'm thrilled it went down about $800 but it's frustrating because it's so close to being under $64,000.

What is it about getting balance just a little but below the higher number that makes it so much more satisfying?
I'm going to have to figure out a way to send a little bit more money to the principal this month. Somehow!!

I'm still recovering from a very busy, tiresome but amazing weekend.

On the family front, we had a few days slip where no one got any chores done, but it's to be expected when you are on the go, I suppose.

Friday, Dh and I went on a date to see a band and go to our friend's 40th birthday party.

Saturday, DS 1 had a sleepover, and the rest of us when to our friend's house for another birthday party, and stayed out way too late. DS2 was exhausted!

Then Sunday, we went to family fun day at the park and did archery and fishing with the kids.

Here is where it gets crazy!!

Monday, was ladies' night with my two best girlfriends. We went to see a solo show for one of our favorite rock stars. It was in an amazingly small venue, and there were maybe 100 people there. It was so great. We're used to seeing him in giant stadium shows. But this time, we were maybe 10 feet from the stage, and it was just as good if not better of a show!

Here is the kicker. We actually got to meet him, get an autograph, and get a photo with him. He was very nice and gracious. So yeah, we're all still high on that experience, the "I can't believe I got to meet..."

My one friend is still so excited. Nothing like that has ever happened to her before and I thought she was going to pass out talking to him, she was so excited. That made it even better, at least for me, to see her so happy.

Here was our close-up view:


Now, I'm trying to catch up with work (as always).

I filed my last story of the gig I've given up, so I am officially finished. it's still scary to give up money, even though I know it's totally worth it!

I'm still waiting to see what my olife will be like without that, with kids in summer camp occasionally, and a giant summer project to finish by Aug. 1. By fall, I'm hoping I might actually have time to work on the many many many personal and household projects that have been on hold for the past three years.

Well, phase one of fixing family life seems to be working smoothly, but it's only been a few days.

The kids seem to love the chore cards, and are always angling to do their jobs so they can put the cards in the basket and earn their daily "peanut".

The unintended consequence has been that we as parents need to be more on top of things and put more effort into helping them do jobs such as reading every day (in addition to bedtime), and doing their "school" work.

So yes, it's forced us to be more disciplined in making sure we're doing what we want the kids to be doing every day.

The parent jobs have also gone well. Something extra has been cleaned every day! And in some cases, I've thought, "Well, I already have the cleaner out, I might as well do this part over here..." so really, more is getting cleaned.

Hubby said it takes effort, but he can see how it would make things better in the long run. He also said he can tell already that the house is cleaner.

I will likely add some extra chore cards for the weekend, like having the kids pick up their rooms and maybe vacuum their own rug. I'm trying to keep the daily list short, as they are only 3 and 5 and have short attention spans.

So yes, success.

****
On the reigning in the money side, I decided to give Mint.com a go, so I spent most of the afternoon putting in our financial data. I could see how you could spend a lot of time on that site! Hopefully, I can tweak it enough to make it useful. We'll see.

****
I had more thoughts on the freelance work. I actually had a freak out moment about giving up the regular gig, wondering if maybe I wouldn't have enough work. Silly me. It's a real fear as a freelancer, but then again, I have a million other personal and fiction projects I would rather be doing. They might not pay up front, but it's what I'd rather be doing for a living.

I guess this is part two to my last desperate post about managing home, work, and children!

I have given it some thought and realized we need some "foundation repair." We need to have certain basic systems in place to make our lives easier and less frustrating.

I designed a magnetic menu board/chart for me. I wrote all of the common main courses, fruits, veggies, snacks, and starches we eat on heavy cardstock, laminated them, and slapped a magnet on the back. I will be using them to put together our weekly food menu, so worrying about what we are going to be eating every night at 4 p.m. will hopefully go away. The menu will go up Sunday afternoon, before I do the weekly shop.

In fall, I will add lunches to the list. Right now it's just snacks and dinners, because that is when the kids are home. In fall, my oldest will be in a.m. kindergarten and home for lunch every day, so we will add that in once we are in the groove. Here is a pic:



Next up is all of the daily household tasks. I obviously can't keep the house up all by myself, and I'm tired of living in filth. I created a "daily jobs" list not just for the kids, but for me and DH as well.

The kids chart contains the things they are expected to do everyday: schoolwork, cleaning up their toys, brushing teeth, putting their laundry down the chute, putting their dishes in the sink after meals, etc. I tried to keep it light given their ages. The goal is to not have to keep nagging and yelling at them to do these things every day.

If they do all of their jobs each day, they earn a "peanut" (a cartoon peanut used for a bulletin board), and when they earn 20 peanuts they get to do something special, like go bowling or putt putt with the parents. I'm fine tuning this part. We'll see how it goes.

Here is a pic of the kid's chart:



The adults also have daily jobs. I had to sell Dh on this because he said he is "100 percent utilized" which at first made me mad. If he's 100 percent utilized just from playing with the kids for 2 hours and working, I am running at a deficit every day! Anyway, he was more into it when I showed him the plan.

I'm hoping that if we can get into a routine wherein there isn't as much nagging,and we all know what is expected of us, that will help ease some tension around here and we can fix bigger problems.

Anyway, in addition to the laundry and dishes we both do, we each have one extra 10-minute clean-up job every day. Things like pulling out the toaster and coffee maker and wiping the counter underneath, or cleaning the inside and outside of the microwave, washing the windows in one room. Cumulatively, doing these small 10-minute tasks every day will result in a much cleaner and better looking house, without setting aside a large chunk of time to just clean (which never happens!).

In reality, the two of us doing 10 minutes extra cleaning each day amounts to 2 hours and 20 minutes of extra cleaning each week. That is nothing to sneeze at. I made and laminated 10 minute job cards, magnetized them. Each day, we pick the chore we will do and hang it on the fridge. When it's done, it goes to the bottom of the stack. We'll see how it works!

I'm determined to make changes now, while the kids are still young and pliable. As y'all mentioned and I feel, things need to change now or nothing will get better. Once the foundation issues are fixed, I can move on to bigger problems.

***Part two coming soon***

In two weeks, I will be finished with the last of my low-paid weekly freelance gigs. After that, I will see how the dust settles and what my new weekly schedule looks and feels like work-wise.

I have given some thought to some of your suggestions to limit the number of projects I take on. It looks like I've averaged 12 projects/ articles a month this year, with basically 12 hours a week of childcare. Eek. No wonder I'm losing my mind.

Once this weekly gig is gone, that will be 4-5 less each month. I am committed to a minimum of 6 or 7 each month otherwise, plus I have a large summer project that I have to complete before Aug. 1.

After I see how my schedule looks without the second weekly gig, I can see how I might schedule time for my own personal projects like my novel, etc.

Of course, this will once again change in fall, when my oldest is in school every day (even if it's only 3 hours).

And, see if I can get us on a nightly summer schedule. wherein hubby takes the kids after dinner, I take a run at the park, etc.

We'll see. Stay tuned guys. Your advice was invaluable, now it's just a question of putting it into action!

Funny how being away from home can make you (at least me) get all big picture.

I'm at the Atlantic ocean with my mom, sister, and two boys. Here is the view from our rental.




It's lovely. Of course, as a wise friend once said, you can travel with kids, just don't expect to come home refreshed. Very true. The boys are a handful, but still, I've had a little bit of time to myself to think.

And what I feel deep down is that life is out of control.

As far as parenting:

We are constantly on top of the kids, yelling and bossing them around, and in return, we get completely ignored or bad attitudes and yelling right back. (Funny how that works). I'm always supremely stressed out, balancing too much freelance work with the responsibility of raising a 3 and 5 year old all day most days while hubby works, plus fixing dinner, and taking care of everything related to our personal lives-- swim lessons, fixing the house, calling the plumber, mowing the lawn, etc. I'm crabby all the time, and frankly, not always very nice to the kids, unless they are playing quietly and not "bugging me".

This is totally not the person I ever thought I would be. How did it happen? It's as if I have been so busy just barely meeting my work and family obligations every day, that I've turned into a horrible, screaming monster.

I'm thinking and hoping, really, that there is still time to turn it around. This isn't how I want my kids to grow up, and this isn't the person I want to be.

A big obstacle, frankly, is that I don't know how to manage small children. And, I certainly don't know how to manage two boys with wildly divergent personalities who are both incredibly energetic and loud, and of very highly active temperments.

I'm very low key, quiet, and need plenty of quiet time for contemplation. I didn't realize people could have children so different than they are. Stupid me. So yes, that has been a strain since the beginning, just because I don't have the infinite energy or desire to play that they were born with,and I struggle every day to find ways to channel that energy into something other than hitting each other or destroying all the furniture. So, I'm either shuttling them to some activity, or sitting them in front of the TV just so I can get a moment's peace without them hitting each other or yelling, or asking me for something. Not what I had envisioned.

It's tough, and because I'm no longer able to take care of myself and get what I need, I'm always short and one whine away from yelling. I haven't had a good night's sleep in more than 5 years. I'm not doing well. Frankly, the highlight of my year is the 6 days they spend at their grandparents and I get to stay home alone. How sad is that?? Is that normal??

On the money side:
Our credit card bills have been gigantic since Christmas. It seems like I just can't get ahead anymore, between the mortgage and the preschool bills. I'm used to being able to sock away big chunks of money, but it just isn't happening.

I recently cancelled the newspaper subscription, and the cable tv, which will save us about $600 a year. It isn't enough though.

It's always something. Either we had to spend $2000 on plane tickets to a family reunion none of us really wanted to go to but were obligated to attend, or hubby had to pay $300 to recertify for work, or the plumber had to come and that was $200, or I had carefully scrimped on groceries, etc, but hubby decided to go buy some $400 part for his super computer and I didn't know it until I opened the bill, so the whole plan was off.... You know how it goes, and it goes on and on and on. This year, it just hasn't stopped. (This week is costing about $500, thanks to sharing costs).

Then, at tax time, I realized federal, state, and city tax ate up more than 60 percent of my pay last year. So I worked all of those hours and wrote all of those articles for virtually nothing. All that stress, all those late nights writing, all those trying to keep the kids occupied so I can make a work phone call days. For so little. I spent a few nights crying about it. I decided to try to work less, since the money isn't great, but the work doesn't seem to have slowed down. I have two more weeks of my lowest paying high stress gig before the official hand off to someone else, and it seems as though a million other small projects have crept in to fill the gap. It seems impossible to say no to freelance work, because it's feast or famine. You either have too much work or none, and if you say no, you might not get asked again.

And, because I am so exhausted and aggravated all the time, I overspend. I don't have time to shop around or clip all the coupons or plan menus (plus I'm mad that I have to plan all of that and do all the cooking-- which I do not enjoy. I thought college would magically free me from the fate of being a housewife, but lo and behold...)

So yes. I have lost sight of a better future. I am feeling truly low, despite the scenery. What can I do to change my life? How can I be a better parent? Or, at least, enjoy parenting at least a little bit? Right now, it all feels like such a crushing responsibility.

After a very wobbly financial start to the year, I'm trying to right the ship, so to speak.

I think I'm finally over the general malaise and burn-out I've had for the past two weeks. I just haven't wanted to do anything! I guess it's three years of back to back constant deadlines and brimming full to-do lists, plus two toddlers finally catching up with me.

Anyway... I'm getting back on track.

-I have two extra assignments due this week, so I wrote drafts of those today, and will finish them in the a.m., before the interview for my 'regular' weekly work starts.

-I FINALLY did a menu plan for this week. Hopefully I can stick with it this time. I'm just not very creative in the kitchen and it's hard to make things everyone likes, but at least, with a plan, dinner is much less stressful. I'm trying to make a few things-- mac and cheese, and a cheddar herb biscuit-- from scratch this week. Where do you guys find recipes?

Long-term goal is to make more bread and other items from scratch, but baby steps. Having a plan regularly comes first.

-I'm trying to keep spending under wraps, so payday isn't so tight and we can make more progress on paying off the house, saving for retirement, etc. This is tough. We've had a lot of extra expenses lately, like taxes, and family reunion airfare, etc. Each check has been spent the day it comes in, no overage, and it's stressing me out.

-We're spending a lot of time and money getting the garden constructed, up and running. This week, we got a bulk compost delivery (we didn't have enough of our own for all the new beds), and I've been slowly moving it into the backyard garden beds. I was happy it rained today so we could have a break! In future years, I'm sure all this work will pay off, but boy, it is a lot of work, and money for supplies. (pics are below)

-We're also hand-digging a new 16 foot by 20 foot patio. We're about 35 percent finished with the excavation. Hard work, but not as hard as we thought. We figure money saved on the unglamorous stuff means nicer flagstones, which we will SEE for the rest of our lives here.

-We're up to $90 in extra cash in the mortgage pay-down piggy bank, thanks to two more craigslist sales this weekend. We might add $5 more tomorrow, if the person shows up. It's also made a dent in the garage clutter.

-I sorted through the kid's clothes and made my summer rummage/yard sale 'score' list-- all the sizes and items I need to find used for the kids this summer to save big bucks on clothes the rest of the year. Sales here are good. I rarely have to buy anything new for them. I have found great hoodies (Iron Man and Lego are hits), jeans, pajamas, like-new shoes, sweaters, snowboots, and winter coats all for cheap.

It works out well. I buy the next two sizes up for the oldest, he wears them, then his brother wears them, then they go to Goodwill. To save time, I search through all the craigslist yard sale adds searching for boy stuff, then plan my route.

-I was inspired today to make an index card folder with all of the projects, large and small, I have in mind for the house. Everything from cleaning out the broom cupboard and hanging hooks, to the living room makeover and game room renovation in the basement. I broke each project down into 1-2 day projects, and those that are longer, plus needed supplies, measurements, and each step needed in the bigger projects, and put it on an index card. I figure on those days I want to get something done but can't focus, I can flip through the cards and pick a one-day job, or a small part of a multi-day job. Maybe it will move things along more smoothly!

And, here is the garden dirt.. Still more to do, but it's moving along.

Be cool. There's actually clear space in the garage.

I freecycled an old carseat, some lumber and drywall scraps, sold two kids bicycle seats and a fireplace screen, and finally hauled the potting bench and four rain barrels (plus the HEAVY concrete blocks to set them on) outside, where they belong. Phew. I made a clear spot.

Today, I also posted a tricycle and a 1970s cruiser bike we don't use anymore on craigslist. fingers crossed those sell!

We spent the weekend digging out the new patio and putting dirt into raised beds. Surprisingly, the excavation-- by hand-- is about 30 percent finished! If we keep poking at it, it'll be done in a couple of weeks and will not have cost us a penny (other than meat and potatoes to fuel us to shovel!).

I need to go dirt shopping this weekend, for compost and other additives to improve the soil we just plopped into the garden, as it's heavy clay and won't be usable as is.

In other news, I admit workwise, I've been slacking. All the years of never-ending back to back deadlines have hit me and now I just can't get motivated to do anything!

I'm totally amped about my new kitchen garden and patio projects this year, but let's just say the hard reality of hard labor to make it all happen is sinking in!

I started all of the seeds for our massive (and still under construction) kitchen garden about 10 days ago, and so far so good. Everything has sprouted except for a Basque-region heirloom pepper called Corne De Chevre. Fingers crossed on that one! I'm using a new set-up with heat mats and inexpensive Walmart plant grow lights this year, in hopes of getting healthier, stronger seedlings.

Our raised beds are constructed, but still empty. Our grand plan was to move some of the soil from our new patio excavation into the raised beds. We're planning to dig out and install a 16 ft by 20 ft flagstone (in sand) patio this spring, with a sunken fire pit and seating. It will be awesome when it's done, I swear.

Our estimates from pros to do the patio job were $8,ooo to $12,000. We can't afford that, so we're doing as much by ourselves as possible. We think we might be able to pull it off ourselves with a lot of sweat and less than $4,000. We found a local quarry with beautiful stones, and they are less expensive than the places by us that ship stone from all over. And local!

Dh insisted on digging the area out with a shovel by hand. I admit he goes into a zen state when digging holes and chopping wood, but it's a big job. I'm going to let him try, but I think it will be tough! My plan now was to rent a tiller, till up the area, then move the hopefully much finer soil into other areas in the yard and garden where we can use it. It should be easier to shovel out than unbroken packed clay earth! We have to clear 8 inches down to lay our foundation of rock and sand.

There is no deadline date, but we do have to have the kitchen garden beds filled, amended and ready to plant by our last frost date, which is May 15.

On the tiller front, after a little bit of research, it was actually cheaper out of pocket to buy a tiller than to rent one locally. I found a highly-rated moderately sized tiller on craigslist (still new in box) and bought it for $45. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully it will make the job easier! And, if I don't have a return deadline, I can take the time to do the front garden as well.

So yes, much happening at our house.

***
Thanks to craigslist, I've also done a fair amount of spring cleaning and clearing. I got rid of three scraps of drywall and a box of wood lumber scraps from last summer's renovation, got rid of the kid's old car seat, then sold two toddler bike seats and a fireplace screen. I made a dent in the garage and put $50 into the piggy bank.

There is actually a clear space in there! I still have more to list as well-- a cool vintage cruiser bike with a light that's powered by your pedaling, a stroller, tricycles, etc.

The garage clearing out reminded me that my home improvement mantra needs to be -- do the projects you already have the supplies for! I have the pieces to do a lot of little things around the house, and they're just gathering dust. things like shelves we always meant to hang, new toilet seats, things to paint, etc. that have gotten lost on the every-day to do list. Their time is near.

***
Now, onto the gift cards. In my sorting, I've run across and now have in one place more gift cards than any one person needs.

We have
-$150 in restaurant cards
-$80 in Macy's
- $50 in Barnes and Noble
-$70 for Jo-Ann Fabrics
-$10 in local plant nursery
-$25 in AMC movie cards
- $20 target card.
Just sitting in a drawer. Any ideas on how I might use these to stretch the budget? They aren't places I usually shop, but I have to come up with a plan lest they be wasted.

My only thought: use some of the restaurant cards for our anniversary in May, for a fancy steakhouse we like to go to. It should use up a good chunk.


But I'm open to ideas!

Geesh. I don't know when my money life got so out of control. Y'all know I'm usually on top of things.

Payday was Friday, and after paying the mortgage and just some of the bills, the checking account was wiped out. I'm pretty freaked out. I had the dread feeling it was coming.

Life has been pretty expensive since Christmas. We had to spend $2000 on plane tickets to the family reunion. Then, this payday, we paid for the $500 rental car, plus the $100 meal for the cousins we picked up. Ugh. One thing after another.

Then, we owed income tax to the tun of more than $700. I actually had to take money out of savings to cover it.

I'm feeling frustrated and out of control. I know our life is much more expensive than it was two years ago. We moved from a paid off house to one in a better school district (read much more expensive house..), and now have a $1700 mortgage, plus two kids in part-time preschool at $788 a month. Plus life. 529 plans, groceries, all that stuff.

Anyway, I'm trying to turn it around.

**
The good news:
- the latest mortgage payment got our balance down to just over $65,000. Almost there!
- I talked to a financial planner about my self-employment tax issues and I feel like I have a real plan now. I'm opening a SIMPLE-IRA, so I can sock away much more of my self-employment income (and save some serious tax money), and I'm switching my roster of projects. I'm ditching the low-paying but steady and demanding gig for occasional but higher-paying projects. Should help with the stress of balancing two little kids and work.

This dialing down might also help us financially, as I will actually have time to clip coupons, cook most meals at home, search for cheap and free activities for the kids, repair things myself, etc. I'm fairly optimistic.

So yes, another temporary set-back, but the big picture looks rosier. Fingers crossed!

**
Finally, I was digging through my sock drawer and realized I have more unused gift cards than I realized-- easily north of $200 worth. People keep giving them to me for holidays, and I never get around to using them because I don't really have the time to shop, and I don't really enjoy shopping. I'm thinking I should do some sort of austerity budget and use the cards to kind of fill in. We have about $150 in restaurant cards; $80 in Macy's; $50 in Barnes and Noble; $70 for Jo-Ann Fabrics; $10 in local plant nursery; $25 in AMC movie cards; and a $20 target card.

**
We also are in the early phases of getting the new garden up and running. The hot peppers and herbs are in my seed trays, just starting to sprout. I planted onions on Good Friday, beets last week. I also planted three red currant bushes, horseradish, and rhubarb.

We still have to excavate the area for the new patio and get some of that dirt recycled into our new raised beds. Tick tock last frost is May 15!

So, I finally gave my official notice that I was quitting that high-stress low-pay freelance gig. I know it's the right thing to do, so why was it so hard?? I guess I'm conditioned not to give up money, even if it's small.

***
I also paid $500 toward the mortgage, and my balance is now $66668.98. less than $10,000 to our paydown goal for the year. Ugh. I just want it all paid off!!!

***
And, it's been so long since I've posted because I've been quite the busy bee in the garden. I've built 4 gigantic 10 ft wide, 8 ft-deep keyhole raised beds, plus two 8 ft by 3 ft raised beds in prep for planting my dream kitchen garden.


All of those beds, for lumber and supplies, cost me about $180. I also made two small round beds for $8 each from salvaged basement metal window well walls from the Habitat for Humanity thrift shop. There is still much much much more work to be done before last frost hits May 15, and planting begins, but at least some of the heavy lifting is done!

First the good news. An extra payment to the mortgage posted today: We're close to $67,000. I want it paid off so bad!!!

Now the sad face. Grandpa B, the kids' honorary granddad died suddenly in his sleep this week. He is my best friend's dad, and has always treated me and my children as his own family. The kids love him and he is precious to us. It's been a sad few days around here as I grapple with my own mourning, as well as supporting my best friend with her own grief.

I know how she feels, as I lost my dad 4 years ago. I'm putting a lot of thought into how I can best support her while not doing the 'I'm going to cheer you up" thing. We all know that doesn't work. So yes, this weekend we will be driving 3.5 hours to his hometown to attend his memorial and wake, and to spend time with our friends. I'm sad but at the same time hoping I can put that aside and offer some much needed laughs during this hard time.

Some of you know I've been wrestling with a particularly low-paying but time intensive weekly freelance project. I think I've decided to let it go.

It's hard to say no to money these days, but looking at how much I'm actually making for the amount of work and hassle after taxes, is eye-opening. And, after contemplating its impact on my stress level, time with the kids, and all of that. Well, you know how that goes!

Something just clicked inside me. It's like a switch flipped. It happened last week. Two things happened:

First, my editor on this project called freaking out about the schedule and moving around the stories, making it sound like I had screwed up what was filed when. After at first being stressed, i realized I hadn't done anything wrong, they messed up on their end, and she was blaming me. (And, the phone call was really all for nothing, as everything was still on track even with the supposed mistakes, and nothing really needed to be done on my part. ) Anyway, I think that was it.

After that, when I got calls or emails about this project, I just kind of glossed over. I genuinely didn't care anymore. That is usually a sign!

Second thing: The kids had a special educational program at the zoo. It gave me an extra four hours one week to myself (luxury). Anyway, I sat and worked on my novel for the first time in six months. It felt great, and that satisfaction lasted a week. It's really time to do more avocation than vocation right now. I'm not getting any younger.

So yeah, I'll be losing about $400 a month before taxes in liquid income, but only about $120 a monthly after taxes, and I will have time to edit that novel and start working on the next in the series.

The only snag-- breaking up with the project. I need to give my editor notice enough to find someone. I was thinking of staying until the end of May. My plan is just to lay out the numbers, versus the time and my actual hourly rate, and say I just can't work for so little anymore. I don't want it to be personal, as my editor is also my friend. My fear, though, is that they won't be able to find someone to take over for me for so little money, and they'll try to give me more, which will put me in a tight spot.

So yeah, decision is made.

****
In other news, we sent $3,000 extra to the mortgage today. I want it paid off!!

It's a big day today, for several reasons. First, hubby's annual bonus finally posted. (About $9,000 after taxes. ) and we now have to decide where it's going. My vote is savings, with 2k or so to the mortgage.

And the OTHER reason... I am registering my son for kindergarten today!! I can't believe it. When I started blogging here, I was 7 months pregnant and now, kindergarten. I feel like we've waited so long, but at the same time can't believe it's here already.

I'm nervous about going to the school, and I don't even know why!!!

Yesterday was one of those very very rare No Spend Days! Hazzah! That doesn't make up for the huge outlays I've made this week on beds and mattresses.

And here I thought president's day was a cheap day to buy a mattress. ; )

I spent $399 on pine real wood bunk beds for the boys (they separate, just in case we need them to) They were the sturdiest, most versatile of the ones we looked at, and we looked at a LOT.

We had one comical bunk-bed run in where my 3 year old couldn't even sit up in bed in the lower bunk, it was so short. Who did they think would buy that??

Anyway, the mattresses were the sticker shock. I went to the store and the cheaper options were terrible-- either a plain slab of foam with a covering, or a coil mattress with padding so think I could feel the springs just with my hand. The lowest cost mattress I thought was acceptable was still $259 each. Ugh. I got out the door at $600 for two, with tax and delivery.

It was way more than I was expecting. I was thinking $400 for the two of them. Clearly I'm out of touch.

I will make up some of that money this weekend. We're selling the kids' current beds on craigslist (a car bed and a crib/toddler bed) and have a bunch of people lined up to buy them. Hopefully that will all work out and I will get $225 back!

Ash Wednesday isn't nearly as in-your-face as it was when I lived in New Orleans. There, the contrast between the awesomeness of mardi gras and the quiet somber (hung over!) tone of Ash Wednesday made it much easier to switch gears. Up North, it's like just another weekday!

Anyway, to make my catholic heritage, I'm trying to switch gears for the next 40 days. Not sure what I'm changing yet, but I'm working on it. Right now, I've got a pot of vegetarian chili on the stove. A good way to ring in the season.

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In other news, the $700 I sent to the mortgage principal finally posted today. Hazzah! We're down to $70, 193. So close I can taste it. This week's actual mortgage payment will get us below $70,000. It always feels good to get into a number with a smaller number up front.

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Hubby will also (fingers crossed) hopefully be getting his annual bonus soon. Now that our tax refund is pretty much zero, this is our one big windfall every year. I think it will all go to ef savings this year. It could be moved later if need be.

Gah. I made a special trip to the bank Friday morning to make an extra payment to the mortgage loan principal, and it still hasn't posted yet!! Why is it taking so long???

As per my last post about how much money I'm actually making for my freelance work (once the tax bite is calculated...) I still haven't made any decisions about what I should do as far as dumping a regular, but low-paying gig that has become more work than it might be worth hassle and money wise. AS soon as the taxes are finished and I know exactly how much I profited, if any, I'll post here for your final advice before deciding to ditch it or keep it.

In other news, Friday was actually a NO SPEND DAY!! Unfortunately, those are really rare, so it deserves celebration.

Today, however, was pretty spendy. It was all inevitable stuff.

Today I spent about $90 on groceries at Aldi. I stocked up on some wasabi peas and other special order asian frozen foods because they're having Chinese New Year themed specials this week.

I also went to Menard's and bought all of my seed starting trays and see mats. I'm glad I went there. They were literally half the price of the same or similar items at Lowe's. Spent about $50 on seed-starting trays with dome lids, biodegradable pots, and two heating mats. I'll be able to reuse all of it every year, so it's a mostly one-time capital expense. We're installing a massive garden this spring, so the seed starting will go a long way to filling it every year.

Then, I had to spend $89 for the next six weeks of swim lessons and pee wee basketball for the kids. Money well spent. The Y is such a great resource, and so much cheaper than our local private clubs or parks and rec programs.

Ouch. Hopefully this week won't be too spendy. I have some meals planned. We're not going out for valentine's day. We're staying home with the kids and making homemade heart-shaped sugar cookies and ordering heart-shaped pizza from a local place. (fun dinner!). Friday, I'm taking my sister to a movie as part of her birthday present, but I paid for that with a groupon ages ago. So, it looks like the popcorn and Goobers are on me!

I got paid today for some freelance work, so I went to the bank and paid $700 directly to the principal of the mortgage. I can't wait for it to post. We make the regular payment next friday, which is payday, so that will be more off the balance. I just didn't want to wait another week to lump the payments all in together. It's too easy for money to be absorbed back into the checking account.

I also sent another $150 check to my IRA, plus a $362 check from earlier this week (paid for a late gig last year). I do like the new goal structure of concentrating larger chunks on one or two goals rather than sending tiny bits to more goals and waiting so long to see results. It feels so much faster. instant gratification, I guess.

I'm getting ready to do the taxes this weekend. I'm still waiting on one or two of my 1099s. Anyway, I usually do some soul-searching career wise once I see how my freelance income (1099) impacts our tax burden. I write A LOT of articles as a freelance journalist, but the fee per story is small, and this may be the year that it's not worth doing so many when my after tax income is so pathetic. I have one gig I'm thinking of dropping due to that.

This particular job: I write one column a week for $100 pre-tax, and the job requirements have increased significantly ( I now have to either photograph the topics myself or secure good photos they can run, which doesn't sound like a big deal, but considering the time it takes to do that, plus interview and write the story, plus the frustration, it's fast becoming way too much work for the money). So yeah...

I've contemplated dropping this gig in the past, but have waffled. Partly, I feel like I have to take all the work I can get given the economy and the state of the industry. Second, we're trying to pay off the house and put away for college, and pay for daycare, and even though it's not a lot of money, it adds up.

On the other side, I could probably make up the money through other jobs-- ones that paid more per assignment, but weren't guaranteed, and didn't pay regularly. I also have a finished but unedited novel that I never have time to work on. Of course, that doesn't pay, but it's my avocation rather than vocation, so that argument is money versus self actualization.

So yeah, pros and cons. I guess if it turns out I'm busting my bottom and I'm only clearing $30 a week for that assignment, it really will become not worth it any more. Any thoughts?

My hubby's parents and aunts and uncles are having "late-life" crises, so to speak. We used to have a family reunion every 5 years, which was no problem.

Hubby's aunt just announced before Christmas that we all needed to stop everything and have another reunion, and that we all needed to fly across the country to their house for it. (usually it's closer to where everyone lives, within driving distance for most)

It's only been two years since the last reunion. There's been a lot of speculation about why, but my guess if they are approaching 70, and they all have this intense and sometimes awkward motivation to "make memories". Without sugar coating, I think they're worried they're going to die any minute so everything has become more amplified, ergo we have to now have reunions every other year even if it's financially difficult for all of their children, who are struggling with preschool bills and work.

So yeah. I'm a little peaved about all of this because I just had to spend $1400 on four plane tickets to the reunion.

And that was the cheapest option. The kids are 3 and 4, so they can't get lap fares anymore. And the aunt scheduled the reunion to coincide with the busiest two-weeks for tourism in their city.

I wish she'd waited two weeks so I could have paid less for airfare! And worse, we're paying all that money but we'll only be able to go for four days. If it were longer and we could see some sights, I'd feel better, but no.

Once again, they set the dates without consulting anyone, and my son has to be back home so he can go to his kindergarten screening days (we can't miss them).

So yeah. I'm bummed about the money. I wish it were under $1000!! It will be nice to see hubby's cousins. We always have fun, but it's going to become a real financial problem if we have to do this every two years or every year instead of every five.

It wasn't as hard before kids, but now we have reduced income, greater expenses, and have to pay for FOUR airfares!!!

Thanks for letting me rant.

Hubby and I are making an effort to give more this year, as far as charity and philanthropy. We really want to make our money go as far as it can, and have been thinking a lot about maximizing the impact of our donations.

Do you guys have any suggestions?

Right now, volunteering is out, just because we are so stretched between caring for a 3 and 4 year old, and work.

On the money front, we have set up automatic monthly donations to some organizations and causes we feel strongly about. It isn't much, usually $10 a month, but we thought it was better than nothing and much easier and more painless than trying to send a big check every once in a while.

We're sending $10 a month to

-a nonprofit oceans research and preservation group
-the local food bank
-the local homeless family shelter and preschool

We also heard a spot on NPR about a group called

http://www.givingwhatwecan.org/
and we liked their philosophy of choosing causes and organizations that can save the most lives or quality life-hours for each dollar. Mostly deworming and mosquito net programs in Africa. But, we haven't done anything on that front yet.

*

We also donate toys every year to the county foster care toy drive, usually fulfilling two children's wish list and donating an assortment of toys. Well, as you know, toys aren't cheap before Christmas. And we've been limited as to how much we can do as a result.

So, I've decided to start stockpiling quality toys throughout the year for this organization, nabbing them when I see them at a really good clearance or sale price. So far, I've gotten 6 nice barbies and disney princess dolls for $3 to $4 each, an $8 less-than-half-price hotwheels car and track set, and two bins of new legos for about 60 percent off. (and an assortment of small monster trucks and construction vehicles). My hope is to have an overflowing box of awesome stuff to donate to the toy drive next year.

I've been picking up one or two 'deal' toys once a week when I go shopping. It adds to the bill, but not so much that we'll be out of money.

That's got me thinking about some other things we could maybe do throughout the year so we can give more without breaking the bank.

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Our son's school also supports a Christmas church 'store' in a nearby impoverished county. The church accepts used toys, coats, and blankets, cleans and repackages them, and the parents come and 'shop' for the kids. It's a great program.

I'm thinking of setting aside some of our boys' outgrown toys for that next year, and I'm thinking of buying up some coats of various sizes at yard sales this year to donate to them, as well as to the local coat drive for the homeless family shelter.

The only problem with stockpiling like this is space. Where can I keep all the coats and toys until it's time to donate them?

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I'd also like to donate some of our outgrown children's items such as books, etc. to a group that would really benefit. We usually drop off at goodwill, but I wonder if there are any preschools or family shelters that would be interested in our library of baby books, and (soon) toddler books, etc. I would really like it if the things we donate could really e utilized to their maximum potential, but I have no idea where to even start?

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Finally, I did stumble upon DonorsChoose.org where teachers post projects they need funding for and you can donate. We donated $40 to various schools in high poverty areas wanting to plant big food gardens to teach the kids science and to supplement their lack of fresh food at home. Those are completely in line with our values.

I like that site a lot because you can choose by city, by project, by high poverty etc. and there is always a project that matches your interests.
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I'm trying out the strategy some of you had suggested: sending BIG chunks to the goals all at once rather than breaking up every extra bit of money into tiny pieces to send to all of the goals. It is MUCH more satisfying.

I'm also trying to keep a tight lid on our spending. It hasn't gone perfectly, but it has gone well enough that zero dollars of my freelance check have been used to cover everyday expenses. Which means...ALL of the checks went to goals. Now that feels good.

So far this month, my freelance checks meant
-$800 to my IRA
-$600 in extra to the mortgage balance

and we put away $400 in college savings, and $270 to the emergency fund (soon to be $540, because Friday is payday).

So all in all I'm pretty amped about January progress. I just hope we can keep it up.

This is frustrating, and not inspiring confidence that my information is secure.

I spent $90 on an unexpected score!

We have been slowly finishing our basement. We moved in almost 2 years ago and have since finished the main portion as well as my office with walls, flooring, etc. Nice and spendy finishing.

We have another area by the washer and dryer. it's 10 ft by 18 ft, and we thought it would make a cool game room for us and for when the boys are older. (Think ping pong or poker nights. That sort of thing.)

Anyway, I wanted to 'finish' it off with paint, and a rug to make it cozier, but keep it cheap and simple, unlike the other two areas which are much more deluxe and required framing and carpet, etc. Like under $200. Well, most of you know a 10 by 18 foot rug costs a WHOLE lot more than that. I was starting to think it wasn't possible.

My 4 year old and I went to the new Habitat for Humanity ReStore (a thrift store for building supplies) looking for items for our spring garden expansion, and stumbled upon thousands of BRAND NEW overstock and close out 24x24 carpet tiles for $2 each. A little quick math and I realized I could carpet the game room for $90. Sold!!!

We did have to sort through about 20 heavy stacks to find good colors. We eventually found 45 tiles in purples, lime greens, blues, etc. that we made into a random pattern that looks pretty cool. Now we just need paint. So it looks like the game room will be done ahead of schedule and on my paltry $200 budget.

I wasn't planning to spend the money, but when opportunity knocks, you have to answer. The boys and I spent an hour clearing out the game room and arranging the tiles.

Okay-- so the carpet did technically cost me $90 plus a 25 cent gumball to reward my little man for being such a good helper. Small price to pay right?

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In other news, we just got the papers to register our little man for kindergarten. I've waited so long for this, and yet I still can't believe the time has already come! FREE SCHOOL!!!!! We have two open houses to go to in Feb., then we turn in the forms in March.

We also registered his little brother for preschool next year, and have decided he is going half days five days a week, rather than the three days a week we have now. We'll pay about $550 a month for that.

We now pay $785 for both of them to go three half days. I'm looking forward to the extra time to work every day AND the extra money. Fingers crossed little man likes school, since all of his preschool friends are assigned to other elementary schools in the district. ( : ( )

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A good friend of ours also came over last night. We watched the Arsenal soccer game. She also wanted financial advice, which strangely, I have become the go-to person for that in my social group. She is a newlywed, but the couple has been together for more than the 7 years I've known them.

They're in bad shape. Not on the same page, just kind of waffling, and not dealing with debt, etc. The wife wants to try to pay off debt and finally start saving money for things like travel and buying a house (They're in their mid-30s), etc. The hubby is working part time at a restaurant and isn't too interested in getting more hours. He'd worked as a manager at a different restaurant but was overworked and on salary, so I think he's taking it easy for a while due to burn out. Anyway, with his reduced pay and hours the debt repayment money instead is going to rent, and bills.

After a while, I also started to think their financial lives are too complicated-- they each have two or three checking accounts, plus a shared account, and I can't figure out why. They still live like roommates or single people. A lot of couples I know who lived together before marriage have separate accounts, and I can see how that is useful, but I can also see how if you so the here's mine, here's yours approach, it can be hard to work toward common goals as a couple.

So, yeah. She wanted my advice on paying off the debt, and getting on the same page. I didn't know what to say. Do you guys have any thoughts on that?

I think some of my holiday and new year stress has gone away. Sure, I'm still trying to catch up from work

(it crazy in media around the holidays, as deadlines still have to be met, but you have to do tons of work before everyone is on holiday break to make them)..

But I feel like I'll be caught up by tomorrow afternoon.

In the past week, I was paid for two freelance jobs, so I put 100 percent of the money-- $800 into the 2013 IRA. It's been a long time since I managed to put all of a freelance check to a goal. Usually, part of it goes to cover regular monthly bills. We socked 270 of hubby's check into savings.

I'm trying whole-heartedly to keep a lid on our spending to free up those precious freelance checks for the goals list.

So far, it's going fairly well. I did, however, blow past this week's $250 spending goal. Between date night Saturday (sushi, and The Hobbit), groceries, and just everyday stuff I wasn't planning on, I'm probably at $350 for the week, and despite my best attempts, zero no spend days. The clock resets tomorrow. Another chance.

I've been putting some thought into free and cheaper things the kids and I can do, searching through to make sure we're making the most of all of our memberships, etc.

I'm going to try to make more use of the free kids play area at the YMCA, and maybe see if I can squeeze in more work-out time during the day, while giving the kids something 'fun' to do.

We did a free nature hike and education program at the metro park today. The kids had fun. They found coyote poop and tracks, and that was a big deal for the group, so that was good. (and funny)

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Also, I'm doing better about cooking at home. I still find menu planning very difficult, and I don't like to cook, but I've been getting ideas from 100 days of real food, and other web sites, and have been cruising the ALDI and grocery store sales flyers to plan the bulk of it.

I'm also diligently working on the ambitious new food garden expansion for the backyard. We start digging in march! I'm trying to figure out what plants and seeds I need and the best places to get them, and where they'll be planted come spring. It's real work!

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I'm still mulling the refinance options. It just depends on how complicated I want to get, and what kinds of risks I'm willing to take, it any, to save some dollars until the house is paid off.

Hubby says we should just put the $2200 we would have paid in closing costs toward the balance and be done with it. Not a terrible idea. We'll see. Still mulling. It's not just the money, it's do I want to deal with the paperwork and hassle? Mortgages these days are a ton of work. TON. Not sure I have it in me.

The Jury is still out though. It IS money saved, after all, and you guys know how I love that!

I talked to my mortgage guy ( a couple of mortgage guys). We qualify for a 2.75 percent 10 year loan if we refinance. closing costs are about 2200, although they won't know until we are into the underwriting process if we'd need to pay for an appraisal. Our current rate is 4.875 percent.

I spent a lot of times on mortgage calculators trying to figure out how much we'd actually save in interest with a refinance. I think we are still on track to have this loan paid off in about 4 years. (Most of the calculators don't account for that). I did find one calculator that let me do a straight amortization table on our current balance, with 4 and 5 year estimated pay off times, at the two different interest rates. And, the interest savings from a refinance weren't as great as they appeared at first.

Seems like we'd save about 4,000 in interest, minus the 2200 closing costs, so less than 2000 to go through the hassle of refinancing. Yes, that is real money, but I'm not sure it's worth going through the process if that is the result. What do you guys think?

Or, have you seen any other calculators out there that will help me work out the actual savings?

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In other news, I managed to sock away my first savings of the new year. (hazzah!)

$200 to kid 1's 529 and $300 into my IRA. I anticipate sending a bit more next week, but I'm shuffling some bills through the checking account, as well as transferring the savings from the ef to the new online bank, and need to see what it looks like when the dust settles.

Today was the first payday with all of the unknowns as far as taxes, 401k contributions, etc., and it wasn't as bad as I thought. So, that is good news. The bad news is no progress on the goals at this point because we had a lot to pay off-- the last of the holiday bills, plus preschool tuition and car insurance coming soon. Ugh. Bills bills bills!

It's frustrating to be "rearin'" to go so to speak and not be able to knock any goals off the list!

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In other, related news, this is day one of adhering to the strict budget. I'm switching most of my grocery shopping to Aldi (except for cherry-picking freebies and deals) which requires cash and overall is sooooo much cheaper. And easier, actually, because it's small and efficient.

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I'm waiting for some freelance checks from last year that are late, to the tune of about $800 as well. Hopefully they will come someday!

Boy, this whole fiscal cliff thing. Don't get me started. Let's just say I really started to hand-wring two days ago when I sat down to figure out what hub's paychecks were going to be, then budget out all of our expenses and savings goals.

I realized I had no idea how much we would be getting per check considering payroll tax, medicare tax, uncertain income tax withholding, plus the new higher 401k max (we max out each year). So yeah. It all hit me at once.

That, and we have a lot of goals and a lot of big expenses, and I've been running the checking account down to razor thin-- which seems to always happen this time of year, with the holidays and my desire not to dip into savings or go into debt.

We'll be fine, as long as I know what I'm dealing with. I'm still waiting to see, I guess. Although, I'm not really looking forward to payday as much because I have to pay off the last of the holiday bills, plus 6 months of car insurance, the kids' tuition, plus tuition for an extra program in February that we paid for in advance= lots and lots of bills, which = not a lot left in the account--again. Ugh.

At the moment, it's hard to think we'll come close to meeting any of our goals, but as always, it's just a question of plugging away. And plugging away. And then plugging away some more. I guess it's hard to look at all those zeros under the goal line in the sidebar!!

And so many big things to pay for. I think I'm psyching myself out and the marathon has just begun!

On a more positive note, Now that the holidays are behind us, I've put away decorations, and managed to clear out my office/craft space and clean up around our basement food and stuff stockpile. It got very messy, trying to make, wrap, and or hide gifts from the eyes of preschoolers, but now it's getting back to normal. I also organized three closets and installed new hooks for backpacks, etc. So, a little bit more organized in the new year!

Best laid plans, always derailed, right?

We had a giant snowstorm on Wednesday, and hubby made the mistake of taking the car out to go sledding with the kids. Well, it got stuck on ice and snow in the bottom of the driveway. No biggie in the grand scheme, but I went out to check on it, and noticed the front tires were both completely bald. I couldn't believe it. I guess I didn't notice because it's always in the garage, which is dim.

So, I had to track down two new tires yesterday. It's a Honda Fit, and it's the only car that uses a particularly weird small tire size. But it worked out all right, as a place down the road from us keeps them in stock. It took an hour, and cost $213. Unexpected, but much better than being broken down on the side of the road with a carload of kids.

Yesterday was very spendy. After the tire shop, I went to Target to pick up a wire rack on which I will be starting all of my garden seeds ($40), then noticed a lot of things I use throughout the year were on big clearance so I stocked up.

I got three pairs of my favorite slippers for half off, two new pairs of converse for about 30 percent off (my main shoe...), two pairs of great thermal undies for the kids (half off, $5 a set), some socks for the kids, a set of santa christmas lights, and three rolls of wrapping paper-- one of which is superheroes, that I can use to wrap all the boys' friends birthday presents.

After I was finished, I'd spent $155. Eek. But hey. Better to spend that much getting half off on things you use all the time than waiting and paying full price. At least, that is what I am telling myself. I suppose. Still stung,though!

Hubby also hurt me on the grocery budget. Last night was his parents' last night in town, so he bought $25 for three measly ribeye steaks for dinner. Spendy.

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In other news, my pre-new year's taking care of business streak has continued.

I contacted my mortgage guy about possibly refinancing our mortgage into a lower interest rate.

I got a quote for life insurance for hubby.

I opened a new high-interest online savings account, and got that all activated and set up. Now I will begin transferring the money from my old account which now pays crap in interest.

I canceled one of our extra credit cards. We had opened it for rewards last year.

We called the cable company and got our bill knocked down $20 a month, and if we cancel cable TV next month, we won't have to pay a $75 penalty fee.

And, I changed the auto insurance coverage on the Fit to reflect that it is now paid in full, so that will save us a few hundred dollars a year.

Not too bad, considering it's only Dec. 28.