I'm intrigued by all of you doing an annual budget. While I am spreadsheet-averse, I did sketch out our income, monthly expenses and then a breakdown of our annual expenses.

I have to say, it's eye opening already. I know in theory I should have an extra $1000 a month or more floating around, but I never seem to. Turns out it's those occasional monthly expenses that don't appear on the recurring monthly budget.

There might be something to this!

Here are my rough estimates and plans for 2014.

Income 5546/month-DH
750/ month --me (minimum. Usually more) (9000/yr, $5500 to IRA, $3500 extra to mortgage?)

Monthly bills
$1700 - mortgage
$600- groceries
$600 savings
$550- preschool
$400 - 529 plans
$225- utilities (electric, gas, water)
$90- internet/phone
$80 Y membership
$70- car fund
$40-- charity deductions
$40- emigrant direct debits, kids/savings
$40- allowances
$10 netflix
=4445/month


Yearly budget
January
DH, sister's birthdays
Pay car insurance
renew drivers license
$20 for fat club
Annual writer's dues
Get the cats fixed

February
Valentine’s day
Super bowl party
doctor visit- DH

March
Mom/ Me birthday
renew drivers license

April
tax prep bill
pay city tax
DS1 birthday party

May
Trip to New Orleans

June
Summer camp
pay car insurance
5K
Trip to Maine w/in-laws

July
Summer camp

August
Summer camp
2 5k races

September
Preschool bill goes down- 3 days a week- $350 to $400/month
Trip to San Francisco with mom and sister

October
Halloween
Renew CSA subscription

November
DS2 birthday party

December
XMas

I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. Some of you might remember it involved my complete mental breakdown over the demands of career and young children.

I am feeling better, although not much has changed. At the same time, a lot has changed.

One of my "co-workers" (I say that because I'm not technically an employee in the office, but I freelance and work with these people on projects) was hit by a drunk driver while riding his bicycle-- at NOON on a SUNDAY!! He's been in the hospital for 30 days and is lucky to be alive. He will be out in rehab for months, though.

Which leads me to my next bit. My boss has asked if I'd like to fill in for him -- 3 to 5 days a week, in the office, doing my old job. I'm flattered, and I was tempted at first, but then the reality of what they'd have to pay me to make it worth it after the childcare and taxes set in. The numbers likely won't add up.

But, I still want to help out and engender that goodwill, so I suggested that they could farm more of the work out to me as a freelancer. I can do that job from home. I already am. They just kind of have a butt in the seat mentality. We'll see what the boss says when he gets back from vacation Wed.

I have been trying to scale back at work, but this would be a temporary bump up and would get them out of a pinch, which is always positive career-wise, which is why I'm considering it. I could also use that money to pay down the mortgage.

Kidwise,
DS1 is doing great at kindergarten. His teacher couldn't say enough great stuff about him at his conference last week. He's way ahead of where they expect him to be at that age. So Phew! One kid is on the straight and narrow.

DS2, however, is still having social problems at school and is so sensitive and whiney at home. I'm at the end of my rope. We're trying, but don't know how to handle him or give him skills. Hopefully some books from the library can give me some tips.

At least with kid 1 doing all right, we can take some time and dedicate most of our attention to the youngest. Maybe that will help

On a personal note...

I had 10 cubic yards of awesome compost delivered a few weeks back, and yes I was that crazy person shoveling compost and pushing a wheelbarrow when it was snowing outside. I still have a small pile left to tackle, but the garden looks great and prepped for spring, and I managed to expand two more veggie beds in back and a large strawberry patch out front. Backyard farm is moving along!

Now that December has also snuck up on me, I'm working out my goals and budget for the year. For some reason, we should be able to save and cover expenses easily. At least the numbers make it seem that way. lately, though, it seems like we're running up short every month. I wonder if I'm missing something or just spending too much, or both.

I am dedicated to righting the ship, though.

I'm also curious about those of you who do year-long budgets, rather than monthly. What does that look like? a list of expenses for each month? I don't even know where to start, but I like the idea of having a map for the year.

It occurred to me that it's almost November. Where has the year-- and the years-- gone? I feel like my life is running away from me, and I still have so much I want and need to do.

Time thoughts led to a jumble of emotions (mostly melancholy) and thoughts about the coming year and what I can do to transition into a more fulfilling life. The next stage, as it were.

I admit this was fueled in part by the parties I went to this weekend. I met up with a bunch of women who work at the same publication I do. Of course, they are all on staff, as I used to be. I freelance for the same company, but work from home and have small children.

They didn't say anything, but I left feeling empty and sad, as if I were 'less than' they were, because I have been raising kids and barely keeping my career going by freelancing. It seems like they have developed so much and had so many more opportunities than I have because they are still at it full-time. It just made me feel bad about myself.

I never wanted to be a stay at home mom, it's just the result of the economic realities of raising children, the tax code, and daycare in modern USA. I am still sad.

I know the kids set a bomb off inside my life, I know I never wanted to be a stay at home mom, but I have to, and I know I've tried to keep my career alive by freelancing,and I'm lucky to have had the kind of job where that is at least an option, but still. It angers me that we have to make these kinds of choices. Kids shouldn't mean either or. You should be able to 'have it all,' right?

***
Sorry about the woe is me. I just can't seem to shake the blues.

I have had to seriously cut back on freelance in the past few months. The new school schedule for the boys is killing me. I don't have time to do anything. I thought I was in career survival mode before, but I really am now. Between kindergarten and preschool drop off and pick-up I end up with less than 1.5 hours each day to work and handle anything else that needs to be done sans children.

Basically, it means it's impossible. I've had to say no to so many freelance projects because I simply do not have the time, and I'm starting to get the impression people will give up and just stop asking me, closing those doors forever.

ARGH!!! I feel like I've given up so much, and yet the world just keeps asking me to give up more and more. It doesn't seem fair.

And, I'm stuck in a weird vortex between the in-office career ladies I met with over the weekend and the 100 percent stay at home moms, who don't work at all, and therefore don't understand the unique pressures I'm under. It's very lonely and isolating.

I need to figure out how to shake these feelings and get out of my rut. I'm to the point where I don't want to do anything but lie in bed and have everyone leave me alone, but that doesn't really work in real life!

Let me just add that I KNOW I am lucky in so many ways. I have tow healthy kids and we have jobs and food on the table. But it's in my nature to ask, is this all life is? I thought I was meant to do great things, but is it too late?

When I tell people I'm growing luffa sponges, most of them look at me like I'm crazy. You'd be surprised how many people think they are ocean creatures, rather than squash!

Anyway, I had to harvest mine today because it actually snowed here yesterday. I grew a lot, now the question is can I dry them correctly so they are usable sponges.

Well, we'll see if those youtube videos are any good. Here is what we harvested, and what they look like now. By the way, the pile is nearly three feet tall.

And, we harvested a handful of peanuts. It was cool to see what they look like on the plant!

Darn it. I just read today about Amazon raising the minimum purchase for free shipping from $25 to $35. Considering I do a lot of my shopping on here, I'm not happy. I usually barely make the $35. Darn it!

In other Amazon news, I did my annual piggy bank purge this morning at the Coinstar for an Amazon gift certificate. I had $81.51 in there. Coinstar is free if you opt for a gift certificate instead of cash. It's a good thing, because I've noticed Coinstar upped their sorting charge from 8 percent to 10.54 percent. That seems pretty steep to me.

Our weather guy is also talking about possible snow tonight, which around here in October is crazy talk. Good thing I picked those peppers!


http://money.cnn.com/2013/10/22/pf/amazon-free-shipping-change/index.html?iid=HP_LN

We cancelled our cable TV last month, and switched companies for a lower price on phone and internet. The last bill from the old provider said they owed us $17.75 in refund.

Turns out the actual check was for $162.15. Apparently, they billed us for the month when we cancelled, plus a small part of the month before. So, Hazzah!

I also picked the last of the peppers today. We've had two nights of serious frost, so I couldn't hold off much longer. We have hot peppers out the wazoo so I have to figure out what to do with them. I might can them in vinegar, dry some, and make pepper jelly with some to give to some of my spicier friends as gifts.

Here's a pic of PART of today's harvest.

We're playing a game at our house: how many meals can we make out of one 13 pound turkey?

We baked one, at some for dinner.
And so far, we have turned it into
-two full-size turkey pot pies
-leftovers for lunch and dinner the next day
-a bag of bits to make into a creamy turkey noodle soup.

Did I miss something? Funny to think you can get so many meals out of one bird. He didn't die in vain!

Well, I think we have green-lighted the wood stove project. We are shopping for an insert for our existing fireplace.

I spoke to our normal chimney guy this morning. Small business, just two guys and the wife runs the office. They carry many wood stoves and will be dropping off brochures with prices based on our exact specs (they have measurements,since they've worked on our house before) this week.

Over the phone, they estimated the cost of buying the wood stove we are considering at 2,000, with the option for a blower and for the surround.

I chuckled, because this is nearly $1,000 less than the cost of the same stove at the fireplace "showroom" retail outlet where i priced them out earlier this week. $1,000!!!

Looks like it might pay to just buy directly from the installer, than through a retailer who then farms the work out to an installer.

Anyway, I'll be interested to see how much the estimates are.

We've wanted a wood stove for a long time, and have plenty of free wood to burn in it. My secret motive is to use it as back-up heat during our many power outages (none of which have been in winter yet, thankfullY) and, since DH and the kids love to build fires all winter, we can use it instead of the furnace for at least part of every day.

Looks like wood stoves have come a long way. Many are much more efficient than I would have guessed and have decent burn times per load. And, if you buy before the end of this year, they're eligible for a $300 tax credit. I'll take it!

I need inspiration: I'm looking for more creative ideas to save money and be more economical in my every day life, with both time and money.

I just finished yet another round of personal finance books and found them to be a snooze fest. Once you've been at this a while, don't you kind of feel like all the advice is the same, and there aren't any new good ideas out there?

Yes, the basics matter, but really, once you are basically doing all that, the advice is slim.

Other than the mortgage, we have no debt. We max out our IRA and 401k every year. We save $2400/kid each year in a 529. We put a little in savings. We pay cash for home renovations. I grow a lot of food myself each summer, then I can it.

I feel like I'm already doing what I should do, but like it's not enough.

I've made some changes lately to reign in spending.
-Cut the cable and switched internet/phone providers (saved $70/month)
-Cut Sat./Sun. newspaper delivery ($225/year)
-Cooking at home more
-Weekly budget of $400 or less for everything
-I buy most of the kids clothes at yard sales and thrift stores, and have several bins in the next size up.

And I am making other changes that hopefully will help us meet our goal of money in the bank, money for college, and a simpler, less cluttered physical and emotional life.

-I've been clearing out garages, drawers, and basements and taking things to goodwill and finishing long-on-hold projects.

Yet, I still feel like I could be doing more, like something is missing?

Where do you look for inspiration? Do you have any ideas?

This is my second attempt at a low-spend week.

Last week's preschool class treats, DS1's antibiotics, and my mystical diagnosis of walking pneumonia kind of blew low spending out of the water.

I feel more in the spirit this week.
Yesterday, I spent a mere $21 on groceries. I think it's a record low since having kids. We're making a lot of soups this week, using up leftover bits from last week's meals.

The weather is colder now, so soup and fresh muffins/bread are a perfect fit. Last night, I made "steak soup" out of leftover brisket, cauliflower, peas, onions, carrots, and barley. We had blueberry muffins with it.

Tonight, is corn chowder with leftover ham and the tons of potatoes I'm getting from my farm CSA.

Anyway... I read "Money Secrets of the Amish" by Lorilee Craker last night. A good quick read. The premise was good, (not so hot on the execution). It's not any advice we don't already know, but sometimes it's nice to get a refresher course, sprinkled with a few anecdotes from people who really DO know how to scrimp.

*****

I've also instituted a few new personal rules that should help reign in clutter, chaos, money, and much else.

I've given it some thought and my priorities are simple:
-A clean, well-ordered house
-No clutter
-Everything at home in good working order
-More money in the bank/ less spent on frivolities
-Healthy, homemade food
-more efficient use of my time and resources. Less running around!

So to meet those simple goals...


Time is always at a premium, and I feel like I spend a lot of it in the car running from store to store to pick up this and that. And, I'm in a hurry, so I forget something always. (a coupon, one thing I needed, etc.).

1. I've inserted a bright blue small paper in my weekly planner. On it, I have written down the name of each store I frequent, and the essential purchases that I need to make (i.e. light bulb for oven, Lampshade for thrift store lamp) from that store. The idea is , no more running to the store multiple times. Make a list, take it with me, get everything I need.

For more difficult to find items, I might try to buy online instead of going from store to store.

It seems simple, but I figure if I have it all mapped out over time, have a master list, and designate a certain day to do all of it, I won't run around as much, won't forget what I need, AND will hopefully have the time to look for coupons for that stuff/stores before I go.

2. I made a few adjustments to the clean-up schedule around the house to keep things running more smoothly. It's so basic, it seems silly.

-I changed when we unload the dishwasher. Now, it's first thing in the morning (instead of whenever someone feels like it.)Then I can just rinse and pop the dirty ones right in. Clear sink, less visual clutter, no heap of dishes waiting after dinner.

-One load of laundry goes in first thing, too. The goal is now to complete one load every day: washing, drying, folding and putting away. That should keep it from piling up.

-Each day, I'm also trying to tackle one cluttered cabinet or drawer.

- I am making a weekly stop at the Goodwill until all of the clutter is gone. We're making real progress here. We have essentially cleared and decluttered most of the basement, and it's working it's way around the house. Things are starting to have a 'place'.

I've also promised myself I'm not buying anything else for the house or otherwise until all of the clutter is under control. Nothing in until all the junk is out.

-My shopping list (see No.1!) is now about essential spending. What do I need to buy to meet the goal of a clean/functional house? For instance, the lightbulb to replace the burned out one in the oven. What do I need to buy to finish a project that is half-done around the house?

I want to focus time and money on repairing and maintaining what we have, rather than spending on something unnecessary and never getting around to buying the stuff that actually would improve our daily lives by keeping things working. It's my plan to reduce everyday annoyances.

It's a start!

On the savings front...
I'm hoping this pared down less hectic strategy might allow us to spend less and get more into savings. Savings have really taken a hit this year. It seems like one thing after another, and we've been taking money out instead of putting it in.

The goal is to return to 10 percent savings of take-home pay, then back to 20 percent eventually. Fingers crossed.

I went to the doctor yesterday for a check up and it turns out I have walking pneumonia! I had been feeling bad since the kids brought home a flu in late august, and apparently, it turned into something serious. My antibiotics were only $4. Much cheaper than my son's $45 prescription.

So much for no spend week. I'm so frustrated. All was on track until:

1. Its' grandparent's day at DS2's preschool and all parents need to contribute something like food or napkins to the class party. Due to crazy food allergy and all milk, eggs, nuts, being banned from DS2s classroom, I had to buy a specific kind of cupcake for the kids-- and they cost... $30 for 24. Steamed.

2. We noticed a lump under DS2's arm pit last night, so he went to the doctor today for a $20 copay. Then, needed antibiotics.

Antibiotics cost $45 WITH insurance, and now the bubblegum flavor that used to be included for free cots $2.99 extra. I'm so mad at capitalism on that one. Really mad.

So yeah. I'm pretty frustrated right now. It seems like we will never be back on track. Kids have just made our lives to complicated and too frustrated.

I'm two days in to the low spend week. All is going as planned. Yesterday was a No Spend Day. Today, we paid DS2's preschool tuition bill, and spent about $110 on groceries. Tomorrow and Thursday should be NSDs too. Friday, I have to bring a treat to school, and because a kid in DS2's class is severely and deathly allergic to everything, we have to go to a special bakery and buy special items that cost an arm and a leg. Ugh. Oh well. If it keeps a kid alive another day, the cost is worth it right?

We donated a three big boxes to Goodwill today, so the clearing out goals are being met. Hopefully we can clear more out this week.

Tomorrow, the plan is to take the kids to play with their friends at the park, and to work in the garden until dinnertime.

I picked what will probably be close to the last round of tomatoes. Not enough to can, so I'll process and freeze them. I also picked a basket of hot peppers, which I will can raw in hot vinegar.

The season is winding down, but then not really. I still have a ton of fall cleaning up and prep work that will aid in getting next season off to a good start!

The work never ends.

The kids and I decorated for Halloween today. They love it. They even waited by the door to yell Boo at DH when he came home.

We got a call from our mortgage banker. They must be trying to drum up business!

We had contacted him earlier this year about refinancing our loan to a lower rate, but none of the deals made sense with the closing costs. We're planning to have the loan paid off within 5 years, so the math wasn't really worth the hassle.

Anyway, they came up with a new round of potential offers.

Here is what he sent.
Mortgages:
7 YEAR FIXED @ 4.29 %
Monthly payment $813.02
$389.00 closing costs.

5 YEAR FIXED @ 4.29 %
Monthly payment $1,092.51

Interest-only HOME EQUITY LINE OF CREDIT
@3.24% (variable rate)
with interest payment of $159.04

None of these seem great to me or worth the hassle. I'm hazy on the details. Any thoughts?

We owe about $58k, our rate is 4.85 percent, and our payment with escrow is about $1700, with about $1200 o f that to interest and principal.

This is a low/no spend week, in an attempt to get us back on track with the budget and saving/meeting all the goals.

In preparation, I did this week's menu around many items we already have in the pantry. The grocery list seems pretty slim, which I guess is good!

Tonight we had a small ham, which will be remade into Tuesday's red beans and rice (yes, New Orleans style). Tomorrow, a brisket, Wednesday a pork loin with some of the applesauce I canned, Thurs. shrimp from a local prawn farm, and friday is pizza and (free library) movie night.

I'm open to suggestions on the best tasting brands of freezer pizzas. The kids don't seem to go for my homemade ones, no matter what I try, so maybe there is a decent frozen one they'll go for!

I also cleaned and organized the pantry while the kids were playing after dinner, just to get my head back in the game, see what I had, and make making food less frustrating due to disorganization. It took less than an hour and is so so so so much better.

This week, I foresee spending money on the groceries, and probably some gas later in the week. I might also have to spend $20 on garbage stickers. We have to put a sticker on each can each week we put it at the curb. Recycling is free. I'm almost out.

Other than that, we aren't buying anything. Nada. Time to re-embrace my inner cheapskate!

Oh, before I go, I took an awesome from scratch bread-making class. I was wondering if there was a way to make dough ahead of time and freeze it in one-loaf portions that I could then take out, thaw, let rise, then bake. It seems like it'd be a time saver to bake a bunch at once rather than several times a week. Any thoughts?

It's that simple. I sold the kids' Brio train table on craigslist. I paid $60 (on Craigslist) for it 4 years ago, and sold it for 45. We got great use out of it, but the kids have outgrown it.

The mortgage payment also posted, so the new balance is tah-dah, $58,903. We paid $265,000 for the house 2.5 years ago, then paid $125,000 of that off with the proceeds from selling our other house.

So, in reality, we had about $85,000 to pay off after the down payment and the money from our other house. and we've paid off close to $30,000 since April 2011. I'm happy with that.

I'd love the balance to be zero, but it's still going down, right?

Hubby and I have been toying with the idea of getting a wood stove insert for the upstairs fireplace. It basically looks just like a fireplace with doors, except it's a wood stove you can use to heat your house.

Apparently, some of the new ones are more than 90 percent efficient.

We have just removed the gas logs from our upstairs fireplace. They started leaking. It was a sign. We have a gigantic pile of free wood from a tree we took down, and from neighbors who took down trees, so the wood would be free.

We're thinking we could use this to partially heat our home in winter, and as emergency back up heat in our many power outages. The up front cost would be about $3,000 installed.

I think we have decided to go for it. We have money in savings that would pay for most of it, and we could use cash flow for part of it.

Any thoughts on wood heating and wood stoves? Any of you have any experience with it?

I'm declaring next week a no spend week. We're not spending a penny on anything that isn't groceries or a bill that comes in the mail.

We did a no spend month a few years back and it was awesome. It really hit the reset button on our money. Unfortunately, as with all things, it didn't last. Life got more complicated !

So, it's time. Hubby is on board with a week. I can't talk him into a month these days, probably because we are so busy and occupied with the little kids. Oh well. A week: I'll take it!

Hopefully it will reduce some of our unnecessary expenditures and kick start us to back on track with savings and mortgage payoff.

We've already made a few long-term changes that should help, like cancelling the cable TV, which cut the phone/internet bill by $70 a month, and cancelling the newspaper, which will save us $200 a year. That isn't enough, but we're on the right track.

On another positive note, today was a no spend day. Looks like I need to do more of those too.

I might as well be chained to my stove in September. It's been a busy month of canning! And to think when my MIL gave me a canning pot for my wedding, I thought she was crazy and old fashioned. I guess she's having the last laugh now.

I've canned 56 applesauces, and about two dozen pizza, pasta, and diced tomato cans, and maybe 24 half pints of peach jam. I'm gearing up to preserve diced jalapeno peppers in vinegar, blackberry jam, and some chocolate-raspberry ice cream topping.

I might try canning fresh apple juice this weekend as well, as this is the last week of our seasonal farm share, and the farmer is gracious enough to give me a full bushel of No. 2 apples (the ones that are great, but not pretty enough for retail) rather than two small bags of pretty apples each week. I don't care if they're pretty if I can make a whole winter of juice or sauce out of them!

I was just reading a great article in Mother Earth News called "Cut your grocery bills in half". It was no gimmicks, straightforward, you have to cook from scratch, grow your own, and preserve your own to really really cut the bills.

It really hit home. Maybe we are on the right track. I do know we need to cut down on eating out, and a lot of that is a function of me being tired and not always planning the best way I can, or not feeling like cooking.

Ideally, I'd like to have my kitchen freezer full of quicky prepared foods that I can just reheat on those days, but that has yet to happen. I did get a good book to inspire me, though, called "Not your mother's make ahead and freeze cookbook." It's got a lot of good stuff in it!

Do you guys have any recommendations as far as cookbooks and foods along those lines?

On other news, we paid our friend's 13 year old $40 to play with our kids all day Sunday so we could clean out the garage. It was worth every penny. We went through eveyr box and every bin down there-- some from when we moved in 2 years ago-- and separated it all into garbage, recycling, and keeps. Things actually have a home now. The canned goods and the extra food pantry are better organized, and all of my kitchen gadgets like juicers and ice cream makers, all have a dedicated home. It's a relief to have a frustrating part of the house organized finally!

Here is the canned stuff. It's a different feeling of accomplishment when you look at it. Much more satisfying than meeting a work deadline on a computer!
I also picked my first titan sunflowers today. They are grown for their edible seeds, and produce pretty giant seedheads. The photo is below!

I am having a lot of trouble getting motivated. Ever since I've decided to slow down at work and concentrate more on my 'real' life, I really dread and feel like it's pulling teeth to finish the work I already do have.

It's clear that I am just over journalism. All I want to do is work on my novel, but alas, in the two hours a day I have without children, the journalism has to come first. Always a deadline.

Is this a temporary slump or is my heart trying to tell me something?

Cable that is.

Hubby and I have finally agreed to go back to our cable tv-free life. We tried it once our second son was born because we knew we'd be at home more!

Now, three years later, yeah it's okay, but it's not really adding anything to our lives. And the bill just keeps going up up up.

Our current phone/internet/tv provider is Time Warner and I want to out them for being ridiculous. When I called to see about a package that was only phone and internet they told me it would cost the SAME AMOUNT per month as the package with TV, except we wouldn't have to pay $15 a month to rent a DVR. Seriously? The same price!

I was pretty steamed, so I shopped around. We're switching to WOW. We're getting faster internet, plus phone for about $60 less each month than Time Warner wanted to charge us for the same services.

Sold! They install monday and told me not to cancel Time Warner until after they came because they've had some trouble with TW not releasing people's phone numbers (who want to keep their current number, and who doesn't?).

Anyway. I'm on a mission to cut our bills back without reducing our quality of life. So starting soon, we're looking at

- $230 less per month for preschool
-$60 less per month for phone and internet services, although no cable TV, but who needs it anyway?

I will miss movies like Sharknado, but for $60 a month, I could rent them!

Now, where else can I cut??

I keep hoping life will settle down but it never does. I'm starting to think we are not settle down type people!

As an example: We got the kids started in school last week. Thursday night we drove an hour to our favorite festival-- the Sweet Corn festival, for rides and corn. Yes, the corn is that good. They literally pull it out of the field right next to the booth where they cook it. We didn't get home until 9.

Then Friday, we decided to go visit our friends in Maryland for the long weekend. We drove there, hung out and let all the kids play, then came back Monday. I'm recovering from a bad cold right now, so I was wiped out yesterday.

Oh, and Friday while we were packing up I was also canning a batch of tomato sauce. Something is just always happening here.

My friend likes to joke that I take on too much. She said my life is like "oh yeah, this weekend I'm going to take the kids to the pool, re-roof the house, and plant 300 perennials. Where does the time go?"

It's kind of true.

Anyway, all of this is relevant because in all this busy rush the money situation is out of control. Thanks to travel and the patio taking longer and costing more than I had budgeted, we've taken money out out out of savings way too much and too often. I have to figure out how to get back on track.

It seems like every time we turn around there is a giant bill to pay. Preschool, school fees, patio stone, etc. It's getting to be all too much! I'm hoping some belt tightening will get us back on track. Maybe a two or three week stabilization period, so to speak.

Next month our preschool bill will be lower as well, and my hope is we will have the glitches ironed out and be able to put that extra 225 a month into savings. HOPING, at least.

On the garden front, I thought this year would be a total bust because I made the mistake of using dirt from our excavated patio in the garden beds, and no matter how much compost I added, it was just too heavy , too clay. I had some plants that were real troopers and will have put up 3 dozen jars of organic tomatoes, pulled out 10 zucchinis and a few pounds of hot peppers by the end of the season. It's not the bumper crop I was hoping for, but it's pretty good considering I thought we would get nothing.

Well, the horrible summer project has a silver lining. Just used the check --$2500-- to pay down the mortgage and we have finally made it under $60,000!!!

New balance is $59,786.57. It feels so good. I can't wait to pay this sucker off!!

Hi guys. You know I've had lots of work-life conflicts recently and it's taken a lot of hard decisions and serious thinking about what life should be to muster any sort of conclusion.

I'm finally reaping the fruits of my labors. The decision to let go of some stressful, low-paying regular projects has been great in many ways. I don't regret it.

I'm settling into the new routine. I just got my oldest in kindergarten last week. (it's only 3 hours a day. Seriously?). My youngest is in preschool, and he's actually in school longer than DS1. Unfortunately, it's not the same three hours. DH1 starts an hour earlier, so once they are all dropped off, I have a little less than two hours each day to do what I need to do.

I have determined that my ideal daily routine includes
1. exercise/ physical labor
2. paid work
3. creative and creation work (things like gardening, canning, sewing, creative writing)

I am trying to squeeze much of that into the time kids are in school. DH has helped me "extend" the two hour window.

I walked the oldest to kindergarten, then I take a walk/run for about an hour. DH takes the youngest to preschool during this time. It's added another hour to my day, and helped me knock No.1 on the list.

When I get home, I do my paid work first.

I have done some "creation" work. Lately it's consisted mostly of canning items from the garden for winter. I've made lots of tomato sauce and lots of peach jam, and next week I'm going to try my hand at canning pears and apple juice/sauce. It's a nice work flow.

The boys did go to their grandparent's for a week last month, and during that time I got to work non-stop on the final draft of my novel. it went great-- finished 45 percent of it, edited and ready to go. (It's written, it just needs serious editing and checks for continuity).

Unfortunately, now that the boys are back, I haven't had the time or energy to work on it any more. I have to figure out a way to make it happen.

The great news is that my horrible summer project is filed and finished, and I got paid for it yesterday, so I sent all of it --$2500-- to the mortgage principal. It should take a chunk out of it. I'm hoping enough to get us close to under $60,000. I'm waiting for it to post just to be sure.

So the life change has all been positive.

The only downside is I'm used to always having those freelance checks coming in, and now that they aren't the money in the checking account is more worrisome and challenging.

We haven't quite adjusted our spending to reflect my reduced income. I'm hoping I can spend some time in fall managing that part of our lives.

It feels weird to say I've started Christmas shopping.
I always say "oh, I wish i'd grab X for X when I had the chance," or, sometimes I know what I want to get someone but can't find it when it's time.

I'm trying to solve those problems. I buy a lot of vintage gifts for people, so shopping way ahead gives me plenty of time to find the right piece.

This week, I bought two vintage 1950s bracelets for my friends teen daughters. (They like fashion...), and a mint pair of leather cowgirl boots for my bff. She will love them.

I am also shopping using my point on amazon, for "free" christmas gifts. I bought my youngest son some godzilla/ultraman monster toys because that is what he is really into now. For my sister, I got the veggie steamer pot she's been wanting forever. For no out of pocket. I could get used to that!

I just got a call from a wire service I do work for occasionally, asking if I want to cover a trial between Aug 19 and labor day.

Normally, I say yes to this gig all the time, because they pay is awesome: 50 an hour including drive time.

But this time around, I'm not sure. The trial is 3 hours each way drive. And I'll have to be there either 3 or 6 days between aug 19 and labor day. Other than the first day, we do not know which of the other days I will have to be there, and likely won't until the night before. (you never know how trials will go, that is why.)

This is also the week my Kindergartener only has one day of school-- his orientation. And we don't even know which of those days yet until we get a letter from the school.

The next week will be his firs tin kindergarten and he only goes for three hours each day. I'd have to rely on my husband to stop working to take the children so I could be at a courthouse a 6 hour roud trip drive away on a moments notice.

This project could mean 2,000 to 4,000 for my family. I'd REALLY like to have the money, but with all the uncertaintly about which days I'd have to be there -- which makes childcare very difficult to plan-- and it being my son's first week at kindergarten at a new school.

I really am not sure i want to do it. The idea of it is making my head spin, but I'm having money guilt.

What should I do??

Now that I'm entering the "slow down" phase in my freelancing life, I'm thinking about what kind of life I want to live, and what kind of things I do and don't want to do everyday.

Obviously, parenting the kids and making a productive life for them is no. 1, but there will be a few brief hours (less than 3) every weekday when they are in school, and with my new freelance schedule, only one or two of those will need to be dedicated to work.

It'll will be a nice change from the three years of break-neck parenting and full steam ahead freelancing. All the constant deadlines and stress wore me down.

So, now what?

I've been thinking.

I'm happier and more balanced when each day has a range of activities. As in, not just sitting in front of the computer. Working. I like days where I get to work for a little bit, work in the garden doing something physical, do something creative like work on the house or some piece of art, and get to exercise, whether it's a run around the park or quiet yoga.

The question is, can I do all of those things each day? Maybe. Or at least I hope so.

For instance, yesterday. I wrote an article while the kids were in a two hour literacy class. Then we went swimming, DH and I shoveled gravel for the patio we are attempting to build, I made dinner, cleaned up, got the kids to bed, then diced, steamed, and canned some fresh tomatoes.

It was a tiring but very productive day, and I wasn't bored because the activities were varied.

Today, I took the kids to preschool, finished and filed yesterday's article, made two loaves of zucchini bread, then took a 40 minute walk in the sunshine.

I also want to do more scratch cooking and try to grow and harvest salad greens farther into the winter. But that is another story.

I was thinking the ideal structure to my day would involve little bits of these things every day or as the pace ebbs and flows

1.Paid work
2.Creative work and projects (novels, painting, etc.)
3.Exercise of some sort
4.Creation work, by which I mean cooking, gardening, baking, etc.


What do you guys think? Is balance possible? How do you manage to do what you need to do and make a nice life for your family even with competing demands?

Phew. I made it to august first. I turned in my giant project and feel like a weight has been lifted.

Well, of course, one of the 20 companies I was writing about dropped out a day before deadline and our scheduled interview, but we have a replacement.

I have to write one more story for it to be officially finished. But hey, worrying about one story instead of 19? Not so terrible!

***

My "new" life will really start to settle in this coming week, but I'm already seeing glimpses.

For instance, my mom comes up on Tuesday afternoons to watch the kids so I can work. Usually I have to shuffle off to the basement office immediately and begin war dialing sources and typing until my fingers bleed. (maybe not so dramatic, but hey).

But THIS Tuesday, the boys are taking grandma out to lunch and for a treat at our favorite bakery, then she wants to go see them get their school haircuts, so we're all going to do that. Then, hubby and I are going out to dinner and a movie.

Sounds so much more awesome than the pressure of deadlines.

I also feel great because under this project, and my life the past two years, a lot of things have been pushed to the back burner. As soon as the project was filed, I managed to knock some things off the to do list.

like, sort the clothes the kids have outgrown, hit some yard sales for bigger sizes, sort out their toys and the garage, then take my sweet time dropping all of that stuff off to their respective charities. And, posting a few higher value items on craigslist.

I also baked two loaves of zucchini bread today.

I might even have the energy tonight to repaint my living room. (paint is already purchased).

Time is such a luxury.

***
Speaking of luxury, I had kind of a sobering experience at the thrift store today. I was looking for pajamas for my youngest, who just hulk smashed out of his.

there were a lot of families back to school shopping. Probably more out of need than my just being cheap and liking a deal.

There was one dad with his 8 year old son, who I watched as he grew more and more distressed while trying to find a decent pair of used shoes for his son. He had already said he wanted his son to at least look nice at school, which was touching. I totally get it, but as nothing was quite right, I watched him grow more and more agitated until he started yelling at his son for basically typical distracted boy behavior.

Anyway, it made me sad and humble. I told Dh that I'm grateful we don;t have to worry about if we can afford new shoes for our sons. Our problems, really, are middle class problems. Puts things in perspective.

***
In other news, the mortgage payment hit today, and we're under $63,000. feels great! Only about 6k more to go to reach the goal for this year.

Four freelance checks for work done in May June all hit the same day, so I managed to ruffle together an entire $1700 mortgage payment. Hazzzah! The balance is now a glorious $63,170.17. We might be on track to hit $57k by the end of the year!

On that note, I'm working on this nightmare monster freelance project. It pays $2,000 and is due Aug. 1. I almost regret saying yes because it's been hard juggling summer vacation with two preschoolers and this amount of work, but then I remember that all that money is going to the mortgage balance and I keep plugging away.

Come on Aug. 1!

That is also the day I feel my personal and professional life will actually benefit from the changes I've made the last few months. After this project is filed, my weekly commitments will drastically be reduced and I will have more time (in theory) to take care of myself and the children, and work on my own projects. Sounds like heaven.

We'll see how it shakes out.

Holy cow. I just realized I had two no spend days in a row. It never happens!