Home > Learning to live as a different person

Learning to live as a different person

February 14th, 2018 at 10:52 pm

Well, I've been on my cancer meds for two weeks. I had my first check up yesterday. I'm doing great as far as side effects. Didn't get any of the scary ones-- yet. But, sadly, I did get decreased appetite. On top of my already decreased appetite. which really sucks. I didn't even realize I was having a side effect until I called the doctor's office asking for help with food, and they put two and two together.

Sigh. I lost more weight, which is bad, but now that I know what I'm up against with food, I'm approaching it was food is fuel and I'm drinking a lot of my calories, since solid food is a tough sell for me. Drinking lots of Ensures (bleck...) and eating the same solid foods at the same time every day, just trying to get enough calories in to stem the weight loss.

These last few weeks have been tough, because I'm basically relearning how to live. I won't probably ever feel 'good' like my normal cancer-free self. So I'm learning to how to still get up and accomplish things and live some sort of basic functioning life while not feeling good. Boy. Learning to be chronically ill is not easy.

But, I'm not giving up. I can't.

Yesterday we got some early possible good signs. Although I won't know if the medicine is working on the tumor until the end of April ( I can't believe I have to wait that long.)... my bloodwork had improved this visit. Something approaching closer to normal levels. The doctor said it could be a fluke or it could be an early promising sign. He is cautious. I like this approach. He doesn't spread false hope.

So fingers crossed it's something good happening in me, and not a fluke.

In other news, my will and healthcare papers are signed and legal and finished.

And, my credit card number was stolen, and someone charged $2000 worth of hotel rooms. I didn't catch it for a week because I haven't been online as much. I called Saturday to cancel the card, and we're still waiting for replacement cards.

19 Responses to “Learning to live as a different person”

  1. snafu Says:

    I'm so happy to hear from you. As a survivor, I know how difficult this can be but I learned that the more I held on to positive thoughts and ideas, the stronger I got. I absolutely forbade myself to give myself inside/internal messages that went the wrong direction. I had list of positive words, I sought positive words.

    I hung up the phone and walked away from anyone who said anything unhelpful.
    Remember you've a huge crew out here rooting for you every day!

  2. Laura Says:

    It's true; we are rooting for you! I was just thinking about you yesterday. I am happy to see an update. I am sorry to hear about the appetite, but I am glad there are no other major side effects.

  3. CB in the City Says:

    Hooray for the good signs!

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    Darn on the appetite being suppressed. I sure hope that turns around for you in some way. Praying for your miracle!

  5. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Glad to see your update. Are you able to handle smoothies? You can pack a lot of nutrition into a smoothie.

  6. Carol Says:

    Definitely rooting really hard for you. I was thinking about smoothies too; they can taste so much better than ensure.
    Justvwishingvall good things for you!

  7. My English Castle Says:

    Smoothies are a good option! We are all thinking about you and glad to hear from you.

  8. elitaylor646 Says:

    Even though we have never met in person, and haven't interacted a whole lot online, I would still consider you a role-model and a mentor. You have always handled things with such grace and persistence. Keep it up! We are all rooting for you!

    When a good family friend was going through chemo for advanced breast cancer, she was struggling with food, too. There was a book out there that had recipes for the new/lack of palette for those going through therapy. I can see if I can find the name of the book, if you are interested. There was a pea soup we made for her that she said was the first thing that tasted good in a long time.

    Sending my prayers and best wishes and crossing fingers and toes for that miracle!

  9. rob62521 Says:

    Sorry about your credit card getting stolen.

    Can you do milk shakes? I saw someone mentioned smoothies. Hopefully you can find something more tasty than Ensure. Glad you have a positive spirit. Been thinking about you.

  10. PatientSaver Says:

    Really glad to hear from you. Keep doing everything you can to stay well.

  11. laura/deacon's wife Says:

    Wanted to let you know that was the one who sent the pics from the shrine in Chicago. Smile

  12. ceejay74 Says:

    Great to hear from you! I’m in awe of your strength and determination —always have been, but especially now.

    Also, I thought you might like knowing I bought both of your books! Smile I’m halfway through the first one and enjoying it quite a bit.

  13. alliecat79 Says:

    I was so heartened to read this! I love your positive outlook. Thinking of you often and sending you positive vibes.

  14. ThriftoRama Says:

    I did meet with a nutritionist and she gave ms some recipes and ideas on how to fortify foods and drinks to make them extra nutritious. That was super helpful. Once it all sinks in, I will try some.

  15. creditcardfree Says:

    I'm glad you have some help in getting the nutrition you need. The nutrition is just as important as the meds you are prescribed.

  16. Sallyr70 Says:

    I think of you often. Really admire your outlook and wish you the best in your treatment Smile

  17. Bluebird Says:

    Like others here, I think of you all the time and continue praying for you. I'm so glad you haven't had awful side effects {{hugs}}

  18. scfr Says:

    Thinking of you and continuing to root for you to beat the odds!

  19. Thrifty Ray Says:

    Keeping you close in thought and prayer. XO

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