Well, everyone. This week has not worked out the way I had planned it at all. It's been a life-changing whirlwind, to say the least.
Apparently, at 42, despite the world's most boring medical history -- no prescriptions, no problems, relatively fit, non-smoker, thin, and no family history. I have cancer. Yep. The big C. Kidney cancer.
I'm blindsided, of course. I went to the Dr. on Monday thinking I had a UTI. Turns out it was a kidney stone, so I ended up in the ER. When I thought I was about to go home and it was over, the doctor told me they found cancer or something like it on my kidney. I was admitted. They did more scans. It is cancer.
They say this is good news, that this kidney stone saved my life.
Kidney cancer has no symptoms and it's usually found only when it's spread and it's too late. They say even though the risk factors are obesity and smoking, most of the people who get it don't have either of those. They're like me. No reason to get it, it's just bad luck.
There aren't many effective treatments once it spreads. It's a death sentence. They tell me it hasn't spread, that I won't need chemo, but of course, they won't know that for 100 percent sure until they take it out.
So tomorrow, I go to the hospital to have a kidney removed. I really didn't see it coming. Not at all.
So yeah. Of course I'm scared. I've never had surgery before, and I'm terrified of that. (Hell, I just got my first cavity last fall and I thought that was traumatizing!)
But, I'm even more terrified of dying before my work is done. I have two boys to raise, I have a mom I promised I'd take care of in her old age. I promised to put her to rest. I can't leave before her. I just can't.
So yes. They say it's good news, and I hope that turns out to be true. I really really do.
But in case it's not, I want y'all to know this community has been wonderful these past ten years. You have helped me through a lot of transitions and hard times, and I value all of you. Thank you all!
Wish me luck!
Sometimes, you do everything right and it doesn't matter
June 15th, 2017 at 04:09 pm
June 15th, 2017 at 04:41 pm 1497544877
Surgery is quick from your perspective. They wheel you in, tell you to count backwards from 100, you don't even get to 97 and suddenly you are waking up feeling groggy.
I will be sending positive thoughts into the universe for you.
June 15th, 2017 at 04:50 pm 1497545400
June 15th, 2017 at 04:52 pm 1497545575
I've had surgery twice, it is quick.
Hugs.
June 15th, 2017 at 04:56 pm 1497545787
June 15th, 2017 at 05:08 pm 1497546509
June 15th, 2017 at 05:16 pm 1497547001
June 15th, 2017 at 06:04 pm 1497549846
June 15th, 2017 at 06:28 pm 1497551331
The best thing I did was tell the nurses how scared I was. I told the surgeon how scared I was. I cried to the anesthesiologist! It was the best thing to do because every one of them took the time to explain to me that they do this every day, that they would take care of me, and that they understood. Vocalizing my fears rather than holding them in was so helpful. No one thought I was "being a baby".
And then when i woke up it was like a blink of an eye. It didn't even feel like I had been to sleep, literally it was like I blinked my eyes in the operating rooom and then opened them up in the recovery room.
I understand how nervous you are and you're going to be okay.
June 15th, 2017 at 07:29 pm 1497554998
June 15th, 2017 at 07:43 pm 1497555812
We value you, too. So much. So I will also be sending prayers and caring thoughts. The very best of luck tomorrow and good healing thereafter!
June 15th, 2017 at 07:51 pm 1497556289
June 15th, 2017 at 07:52 pm 1497556361
You got this, Kid! Surgery and recovery! I will restate the obvious: the cancer diagnosis sucks; but about providential timing! Never thought I would be happy to hear that someone has a kidney stone.
Catch you on the flip-side! Prayers for tomorrow and the short-term. (hugs)
June 15th, 2017 at 08:03 pm 1497557029
I can somewhat relate as my husband is the "healthiest" person I know and he's been battling a brain tumor since his early 30s. What I wanted to say was the plus side of taking care of yourself is that you will most likely recover from surgery very easily. Nothing is foolproof, but it will certainly increase your odds, help your recovery, and improve your long-term prognosis.
We value you and your contributions, also. Good Luck! Will be thinking of you and your family.
June 15th, 2017 at 09:11 pm 1497561100
June 15th, 2017 at 09:28 pm 1497562094
June 15th, 2017 at 10:38 pm 1497566312
June 15th, 2017 at 10:44 pm 1497566676
I have had seven surgeries, some major, some minor. As others have said, you just go in and go to sleep -- except it seems like you wake up a few minutes later! You will have many professionals watching over you who are dedicated to your care. Think about all those wonderful people around you and you will feel less frightened.
And you have all of us rooting for you, too!
June 15th, 2017 at 11:04 pm 1497567885
June 16th, 2017 at 12:55 am 1497574529
#CancerSucks!
June 16th, 2017 at 01:39 am 1497577170
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June 16th, 2017 at 05:30 pm 1497634229
June 16th, 2017 at 05:32 pm 1497634320
June 16th, 2017 at 05:38 pm 1497634698
The only thing I can add is that when you come through a life-threatening situation, life is all the sweeter and more appreciated. I was in a car accident after college that I would have died from if not for the Fire & Rescue folks and the doctors who performed emergency surgery. It was terrifying, but I've never taken life for granted since then.
June 17th, 2017 at 04:36 pm 1497717412
{{hugs}}
June 17th, 2017 at 06:00 pm 1497722425
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June 20th, 2017 at 07:29 pm 1497986957
My son in law had a similar experience. They accidentally found the cancer on his kidney and removed the kidney. That was a few years ago and he is still cancer free.
Hugs to you as you recover!!!