So, Little man was supposed to spend the night with grandma last night (and most of today), but disaster struck. I drove the hour to mom's only to get there and have her rush out the door to take her boyfriend to the ER. He had some bleeding and issues related to a surgery he had two weeks ago, and she didn't want him to go alone.
She told us to wait, so I got little man some dinner, tubby, and in pajamas. I let him stay up 2 hours late to wait for "grammy" because he really wanted to see her. She calls at 10 to say she's not going to make it home, so we should just head home. (He had internal bleeding, got home at 2:30 a.m and mom took him to his regular doctor today)
So, another hour driving home, and little man doesn't get to bed until 11 p.m., exhausted and overtired. And no grandma.
It's disappointing all around. The whole thing had me totally stressed out. My mom's boyfriend is 79, and in the back of my mind is always the thought that she is going to have her heartbroken when her sweetie dies all over again, sooner rather than later, because he is elderly. I don't want my mom to have to go through this again, since it's only been 2.5 years since dad died.
So, last night set off that part of my brain.
Then, I was so tired and frustrated to have spent the night driving back and forth for nothing, and keeping little man awake (he's crabby today because of it.) Mom takes him so I can work, and I really count on having that time.
So, This is the week when I actually have more work to do due to my extra gig, and I can't do it because I'm with two toddlers all day.
Life with kids is just so much harder than I ever imagined, and I imagined it would be pretty bad! I guess I didn't bank on the prolonged lack of sleep, or that it'd be so hard to get very basic things accomplished every day.
setbacks, setbacks...
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:14 pm
December 3rd, 2010 at 10:51 pm 1291416713
I've always loved my parents equally and (honestly) found my dad to be more interesting company. My mom stayed home with me full time and my dad worked. I never thought anything of it. My daughter absolutely loves daycare, and it's only a third of one of our salaries for her to go there. Now if this sweet-priced deal ever goes away, especially when we have two kids, I'll have to think long and hard about whether it's still a worthwhile investment. But since none of the three of us would be very good stay-at-homes, it would take a lot to make the decision for one of us to stop working and pull AA out of daycare. (One big thing is I know we'd want to get other things done, whereas my daycare provider's whole job is to pay attention to our kid. Even when she's doing other things, I know AA has other kids to interact with, but if she stayed home I'd be her only source of social interaction.)
December 3rd, 2010 at 11:12 pm 1291417938
My ideas: a mother's helper (high school aged?) to come in and stay with the boys for a few hours while you work. Trade babysitting with another mom that you trust (though your work will increase when you've got her kids).
This time of stress will pass. I'm sorry that your mom wasn't able to help you out as planned, but it sounds like she's had her own plate full with the bf's health issues.
December 4th, 2010 at 12:29 am 1291422565
Personally I have always been against daycare, simply because my mum was and kids tend to think like their parents (until they get older and wiser!
My boss has two young children (boys, 3 and 5) and even though they have grandparents, a lady at my work who does not have grandchildren of her own has sort of 'adopted' them as hers, and is happy to take them out for a day every now and then. OBVIOUSLY you wouldn't do this with someone you don't know - but do you know anyone like that?
As for your mum, it sounds like a tough time for her at the moment. It is a scary thing to have to deal with, and facing the prospect of losing someone you love is very upsetting. While she might be busy in the initial stages of his recovery, you might find that she DOES want people around her to distract her mind from the possibilities, and from the sound of your lovely rough-and-tumble boys
December 4th, 2010 at 02:16 am 1291429007
That said, we can't afford full-time care for two kids. it would cost about $2000 a month. Right now, I pay $600 a month for about 15 hours a week of care for my 2.5 year old.
Even if I wanted to go back full-time, there are no jobs. I am in a very troubled field--journalism. I left my last full-time gig when my dad became terminally ill and I found out I was pregnant. I had just lost my grandparents and knew that one thing you can't get back is time with your dead beloved. So, I mad the choice. Our plan was for me to go back once dad was gone, but by that time the recession hit hard, my company laid off 100 people, and they haven't hired anyone since. So, now full-time jobs for me unless we relocate, and that isn't happening.
December 4th, 2010 at 04:06 pm 1291478795
December 4th, 2010 at 08:59 pm 1291496366
December 4th, 2010 at 09:04 pm 1291496646