We've entered a new era of parenting now that Bean is in preschool. We just got our first school fundraiser form AND our first invitation to a birthday party for one of the other kids in his class. Yep. Parenting is about to get more expensive.
The fundraiser is for gourmet popcorn, at 6 bucks for an 8 ounce bag. It's made by a locally-owned business, so I like that part. But do I really have to ask my friends to buy this stuff? Or, can I just put in a small token order for us and have it be enough? What is the etiquette?
Also, Bean has 7 kids in his preschool class. He has a lot of fun there. We are just starting to get to know the parents. We got a birthday party invite from one family. I think I have only smiled and waved politely. Not sure if I've ever actually talked to them. Do we go? If we do, what is the etiquette? (gift, etc.?) and, when it's time for Bean's b-day, do we invite all the kids too? (There will be more in the class by then, as more join in January.)
HELP!!!
HELP!!! Parenting etiquette?? What do I do??
October 5th, 2010 at 01:16 pm
October 5th, 2010 at 01:42 pm 1286286176
That might change if it was an activity that my son was directly involved in or he is old enough to deal with it himslef.
My sons school fundraiser is frozen food...Pizza, Cookie Dough, Cheesecake etc. The school says that it needs to be picked up on such a date and give a 4 hour window as they do not have freezer space to hold it. With my job I cant guarentee that I will ever be able with 100% certainty be able to pick something up within a 4 hour window (and that window they give means I would have to leave work early to pick up stuff and have room in my freezer for it). They also sell gift wrap etc, but it is not in stock so there again I have not guarentee that I will be around to deliver the stuff. What happened to selling stuff like huge boxes of chocolate bars and selling what you had with you?
As for the Party - If it was my case, I would let my son go to the party because I like for him to get to go to these things, and yes gift for the birthday child. I just look at birthday parties as playdates with a hostest gift though.
As for your childs birthday IF you hand out invites at school you need to invite the whole class, if you mail the invites then you can just invite his best friends. It would depend on how many children you want attending.
October 5th, 2010 at 01:58 pm 1286287106
October 5th, 2010 at 02:20 pm 1286288432
I agree with littlemsmom. It's how you hand out the invites. If mailed then you can be more discrete with the invites. Always a gift. At preschool age, they should allow parents to stay for party. I don't think I started school parties until kindergarten.
October 5th, 2010 at 03:38 pm 1286293096
I refuse to participate in those type fundraisers. Maybe easier said than done, because I don't think my kids have ever been subject to one. (Seriously - their school is really good about those things). I'd rather just give the cash to the school, and that's usually all they ask for. I don't know or care what the "etiquette" is. It benefits to school more to just give them 100% of my money, rather than that they get some proceeds from a fundraiser.
Birthday parties - I always welcomed the chance to get to know the other families. At preschool age, etiquette is to invite everyone in the class, probably because you don't know everyone's personal info, and then tactfully it is all or nothing. In our area, this clearly stopped in first grade. In Kinder, everyone was invited to everyone's birthday. In first grade, the parties became much more smaller.
I've invited the whole class to one or 2 parties (in 5-ish years?). Other times, just the friends, or no one from the classes. Just depends. The kids generally only want to go the their friend's parties, and not other kids, so it just works out. Not everyone does parties, so it has never been party overload.
October 5th, 2010 at 04:38 pm 1286296706
Monkey, thanks for the b-day party insight. I think we will attend the party, and plan to invite the kids to Bean's party. I agree that it will probably become a non-issue as they get older. And it would be nice to meet some other parents.
October 5th, 2010 at 05:49 pm 1286300958
I am thankful that this year the kindergarten class that my son is in is quite social, and weekly have play dates after school at the park (while it is warmer). It is a nice way to meet the newest set of parents, and the cost is minimal.
October 5th, 2010 at 06:41 pm 1286304069
October 5th, 2010 at 07:26 pm 1286306781
Fundraisers-make your stand now because this is going to happen every year through all public and private schools. Whatever YOU feel is right and do it (buy ; not buy ; donate directly ; donate nonmonetary ways). It's kind of like girl scout cookies on anti-hyper pills.
Bday Parties-The etiquette is invite the whole class or none at all (through about 3rd grade or so).
October 5th, 2010 at 10:46 pm 1286318787
I think my feelings about this really evovled when I sold for a MLM company. Fundraisers were about making more money for the company. Period. The schools would get very little of the proceeds. So, I feel more jaded seeing that side of it.
But like I Said, my kids have never sold as much as a candy bar. So I haven't had to face all that selling yet. Phew! (I think, the school also realizes they make more money this way).
October 5th, 2010 at 10:55 pm 1286319339
Sometimes our school sells scrip, where you pay face value for gift cards at local merchants. Those I do buy. They spend like cash, and I'd shop those stores anyway. And then there's Girl Scout cookies....
For birthday parties, we've adopted the "invite them all" theory. I'm not sure it's right, but so far, so good.
October 5th, 2010 at 11:12 pm 1286320364
October 6th, 2010 at 03:42 am 1286336543
My parents were wholly against us selling any items for school. They just sent the money in themselves. And please note they had 4 kids in school.
October 13th, 2010 at 10:59 pm 1287010755
No real advice on the birthday party situation. My babes have summer birthdays, and I've yet to throw a party which involves their classmates.