So, hubby was asked to attend a "Global outsourcing" meeting today at work. I am hoping he still has a job when he gets home.
Here's the rub. If he gets laid off, he may have another job--in Houston. I am not a fan of Houston.
If we went there, we'd have no friends, no family, no babysitters and two kids under 2. Sounds like a nightmare.
So what do you do if that's the job you can get?
Do you move whole hog?
Do you send hubby there alone to telecommute?
Do you split your time 50/50 between here and there?
What are the options???
I hope we don't have to seriously think about this, but just in case, I want to have some ideas.
I need serious advice
February 4th, 2010 at 04:32 pm
February 4th, 2010 at 04:44 pm 1265301895
My answer would depend on the long-term outlook. If Houston has more jobs, plain and simple, for the long term, I Would consider moving and starting over. If it's just "easy" or "temporary" I think he could "commute" for a while, while you firm up some long-term plans.
My parents picked up and left everything they knew for a "job." But it wasn't the job - it was the long-term career prospects. & though hard at first, it has certainly paid off for them in the long run.
Maybe take the job on a temporary basis, and then really evaluate your long-term options? See if there is anywhere else that would work for both of you?
February 4th, 2010 at 04:49 pm 1265302162
If you moved there whole hog, I would rent a place first so you have time, like a full year, to get the lay of the land, see what are the better places to live and see if the job looks like it will become a long-term thing. Don't put a lot of pressure on yourself to find a house to buy and have the whole move thing going on, and the new job, too. Too much stress.
Sending hubby there to telecommute sounds like it could put a strain on your marriage. I think you should stick together, whatever you decided to do.
Splitting your time between your current home and Houston could be a possibility if Houston rentals are cheap and you can afford to carry both a rental and your current home, but if not, I'd do a wholesale move and plan to rent.
February 4th, 2010 at 04:53 pm 1265302409
No advice here from me, just sending you well wishes that DH still has a job and you don't have to deal with any of the above scenarios!
February 4th, 2010 at 05:01 pm 1265302902
If we moved, bean would have no family no friends to play with and no sitters who genuinely love and care for him. We have friend with a baby down the street who were gracious enough to drop everything and take care of Bean when I went into labor at 1 a.m. Those things are huge to me.
It would probably be good for his career. He is in tech, so you don't want to stagnate, but I don't want to leave a support network that is crucial to raising children.
February 4th, 2010 at 05:23 pm 1265304237
I think splitting up a family is even harder than leaving a support network though, too. Living apart puts a strain on the marriage, which puts a strain on everything else!
In your situation, I would probably have him take the job in Houston and come home as often as possible, financially and logistically. If the job is working out, I think you have to move to keep your family connected.
My advice is based on the fact that he can't find any possible employment where you live. He could take the Houston job AND still look for employment in your current city. If it doesn't pan out, in a year, you move.
February 4th, 2010 at 05:25 pm 1265304331
If you've done the research and you decided to stay or move, then I would suspect it would help you ease your mind regarding whichever decision you decide on.
Sorry, rambling at work.
February 4th, 2010 at 05:26 pm 1265304412
February 4th, 2010 at 06:04 pm 1265306670
Two months after my husband and I married, he was offered a job out of state. We live about 5 hours from his family and about 8 hours from mine. I can say without hesitation that it was a good move for us, but we didn't have children at the time and we wanted to put some distance between us and our families. I can definitely understand your reluctance to throw away your entire life for a job. I think it may be a good idea for him to take the job in Houston and try it out before committing the whole family to moving. I would also encourage him to get his resume out just in case. Give yourself some time to get a handle on the situation before making any decisions that you will regret.
February 4th, 2010 at 08:27 pm 1265315274
February 4th, 2010 at 09:23 pm 1265318590
February 5th, 2010 at 02:08 am 1265335680
February 5th, 2010 at 04:13 am 1265343228
February 5th, 2010 at 05:41 am 1265348515
I started a playgroup and invited moms from my husband's work (he took fliers!)
I joined a book club at the library and one at the local bookstore.
I went to the library story hour every week with my toddlers. And I invited moms and babes to go to the park with us afterward, go grab an ice cream cone, whatever.
I hung out at small, local, independent toy stores... let the kids play a while while I looked for moms who were doing the same thing. We chatted, and then I invited them to my new play group! (above)
You can do it! It might be a wonderful experience!