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How do you do it? I'm failing

August 10th, 2010 at 07:25 pm

I have a confession: I am not good at family life. I don't enjoy it at all.

Let me preface that by saying I L-O-V-E love my children. I would die if anything happened to them.
But there is a big BUT

I don't like being a parent. Frankly, I think it sucks. I take care of two boys under two from 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m., from 9 p.m. to midnight every night I clean the house, do the dishes and laundry, take a shower, and then I have to WORK. Yes, I am blessed that I can work from home, but while hubby is downstairs playing video games or reading, I basically have to "go into the office." (and much of this time, I have to listen to our youngest yell and scream from his crib or the older one keeps getting out of bed and trying to walk around the house. It never ends. )

There is no downtime. Usually, I can manage this. It's like my daily marathon. But, when something is thrown into the mix, it's very stressful.

The stress really starts when we try to take the kids somewhere. Every time I leave the house with both kids, my stress level hits the roof, and it stays there, no matter what is happening. It just stays at a sustained high level until we get home.

Tonight, we went bowling. Bean was all over the place, jumping into other peoples' lanes, running all around. He runs off. It scares me to death, because it takes him 10 seconds to make it 30 yards, and he is wily and quick. Once, he managed to get away from me at a community barbecue, and I couldn't find him for 10 minutes, and I literally thought I was going to die.

This would be hard enough, but throw in the 9 month old, who is crawling and cruising, and it's almost unbearable for me. Hubby doesn't understand why I just "can't relax."

I want to, I just can't. He somehow magically thinks everything will be okay, while I feel like things are only okay if someone makes sure it is okay, which unfortunately is always me.

I feel stuck at home a lot. Bean gets to go places and do activities with an "aunt" (really one of my friends) and grandma. But hubby always complains I don't take the two of them out more to do more things just the three of us.

I feel like I can't handle the two of them alone.

I did try to take them to a play place at the mall. I thought it would be perfect. But bean kept running out, because he saw a gumball machine. So there I was, hauling 50 pounds of backpacks, car seat and little brother jut trying to keep him in eyes view while he ran all over. It was a nightmare.

Bean needs a dedicated adult, just to keep him from running away or into traffic.

I feel like a bad parent, always being stressed out when we leave the house, alone or as a family, but I don't know if there is a solution. I am hoping this feeling will go away as they get older and more capable, rather than being a toddler and a baby, but I don't know. I see my friends with older kids and in some ways, it looks like it just gets worse.

How do all of you deal with this (or in the past, dealt with it?) Am I losing my mind? I sure feel like it. And will I ever get a good night;s sleep ever again?

45 Responses to “How do you do it? I'm failing”

  1. SnoopyCool Says:

    Oh, I feel your pain! LOL... I have four, ages 8 - 3. I believe my three y.o. is, perhaps, the cutest 'bane of my existence' ever!

    The only way I stay sane right now is by reading books. Lots and lots of fiction books just to escape. If I'm too busy to sit and read, I can get books on cd to listen to while I'm doing something else.

    I find that if I relax some and lower my expectations for my kids, I handle the bad behavior better. Definitely not a free-for-all for the kids, but I just come down a notch or two and I usually feel less stressed. Makes it easier to course-correct when I feel like I can breathe.

    My son (8) sounds just like your Bean. He was high energy and running all around at that age (still is/does). If he's engaged in something specific (puzzles, games, whatever works), he's focused and happy to stay put. I think when they're bored they're more likely to drive you nuts.

    These days will pass, believe me. Just be sure to schedule some time during the day for yourself (naptime worked well for me). Hang in there!

  2. MonkeyMama Says:

    IT will get better - DEFINITELY!

    I was reading something rather recently about life being very relative. We adapt to new situation quickly, but everything is very relative to where we are now or recently. I think having a 5/7 year old is DIVINE. My Grandma was mentioning how exhausted I must be or something. I thought, "This is a piece of cake!" Of course, anything is, after having an infant and a toddler. I was thinking how relative it is, in that regard. HAving two young kids may not be the easiest thing ever, but it sure seems like a break to me. (Hopefully that is encouraging).

    I think the worst part is the lack of sleep. That definitely gets better. People tell me all the time, "You'll never sleep again." But honestly, if you "train" them well - they sleep fine past age 1 or 2. & I use the term "train" loosely. We just kind of trusted our instincts, thought good sleep habits were of high importance to us.

    Beyond that, you are definitely not alone. I think honestly, you, like most moms, could use more help. Even in the thick of it, I've always had a lot of help. While my SAHM friends marvel how I work - I always appreciated the BREAK. I just knew myself and knew I couldn't handle being home. I absolutely refused to stay home with the kids. I'd go crazy!

  3. MonkeyMama Says:

    BTW, did you see this article?

    http://nymag.com/news/features/67024/#content

  4. ThriftoRama Says:

    So, ya'll are saying it'll be easier when they are 5 and 7 than it is now, when they are 2 and 9 months? I hope that is a yes, because I need to know it!

    My friend said it's just extra hard now because you have to "watch" then in different ways at these ages. I don't know if I explained that well, but I know what she means. I have to make sure the cruiser isn't falling over while he learns to walk, while also having a crazy toddler who doesn't get that it's not okay to run into the road or off into a crowd without mommy.

    Ugh. I wanted them to be close in age because I wanted to get all the diapers and staying home all day out of the way in a shorter time frame. Now it seems overwhelming. I hope it will pay off later.

  5. swimgirl Says:

    It WILL get better. I have 4 and they are spaced over 7 1/2 years. Uh-huh.

    It is HARD to be a parent. HARD.

    My advice? Don't take them places for a while unless you have help. They don't need to get out, really they don't. Leave them both with your husband in the evening and go grocery shopping then. And park or mall play area? Forget it. You have a beautiful backyard, and it's plenty!

    I would look for a toddler story time at the library. Those library ladies are usually pretty good at getting the kids to sit quietly for a few minutes. Cost, I know, but you might look for a gymnastics class if you think he needs a "different" play environment.

    I had many challenging days during the 9 years I stayed home. MANY. It's a hard job. It seemed simple--entertain the kids and keep the house clean, but it just isn't. Your kids sound like mine, too--super inquisitive, super energetic. My best friend's kids had a completely different energy level and I finally had to cut back on my time with her because I couldn't stand watching her kids sit quietly on a blanket at the park while mine ran wild.

    Hang in there. You are doing so many things right. Your kids are healthier staying home (not catching day care bugs), and you are making a difference. I swear you will blink and they'll be going to college. Try to find the amusing or cute in everything. (What spunk! That little bean running off!)

    Good luck!

  6. Ralph Says:

    All I can offer is mine are grown now, and I miss them at that age terribly. Sure, it was physically demanding, but it was the happiest time of my life having young kids. Try to enjoy the good parts of it. They will be grown all too soon. Hang in there!

  7. ThriftoRama Says:

    Swim, you really made me laugh:
    I couldn't stand watching her kids sit quietly on a blanket at the park while mine ran wild. That's exactly how I feel.

    I have kept Bean home as long as I can. He really needs to get out in the world more, so now he goes to his fake "aunt's" house 2x a week to play with her 10-year old and my friend's 19 month old. He is also starting 3-hour 2x a week preschool later this month. They have a lot of great activities. I think he will really like it. He gets out of control restless if he's at home for a whole day, so having 4 days of the week where he has regular activities is going to be a great help.

    And, I can then spend some one-on-one time with the little guy, and get some freelance work and some groceries done. At least that's the plan...

  8. ThriftoRama Says:

    Monkey-- that article was genius.

  9. Homebody Says:

    My first 2 were 20 months apart. The first year was hell and then it started getting better and then it was great.... until #3 came along! My older sister and I (both of us grandmothers now)were discussing how we wished we would have played more with the kids when they were little. So let things go, or get DH to help out a little more or a lot more. Hang in there!

  10. Looking Forward Says:

    Poor gal..Hang in there. It all sounds like all the normal stuff parents go thru. And it will get so much better as they get a bit older. (Then you have different challenges. Smile )

    I have to say your "story" is exactly why I never wanted two babies so close together. It works well for some, but I don't think I could deal with it!

    What about more help from dad? Has he ever taken the two of them somewhere by himself? That might help him understand the stress a bit better. Preschool will be such a help too.

    Most of all - Give yourself a break! You are a good mama as far as I can tell. Don't be too hard on yourself! And it's okay to just relax at night sometimes and forget about the cleaning etc..

  11. Looking Forward Says:

    MM - Enjoyed the article. Thanks. Smile

  12. swimgirl Says:

    Oh, my friend really made me crazy at that point. She would watch my kid run wild, grab mud, do something creative (but messy), scream, yell, be a kid, and then she would say in a kind of judgmental tone, "Sarah would NEVER do that." Well, to this day, 18 years later, Sarah (and her siblings) is low energy and introverted compared to my kids. My kids still need lots of stimulation and activity. That was a HUGE strain on our relationship. My kids were just different from hers! It wasn't my parenting at all!

    One trick is to just try to stay a step ahead, but it is exhausting. I always felt like I was running along behind the kids, catching things as they fell and cleaning as they made messes. The sleep thing will get better, and so will the kids!

    And I did resort to "the drive" on a fairly regular basis. My kids were so active that once they sat still for any length of time, they fell right to sleep. So, I packed a book and drove. When they fell asleep, I pulled over in the shade and read. Then I felt like I got some relaxing time. If I was home, I would just clean/work while they slept, and I never felt recharged.

  13. Broken Arrow Says:

    Whew! It's actually quite a relief to know that even some women feel this way. Because while I love children, RAISING children is extremely stressful to me. Even if I am a guy.

    I think between 4 to 12, they are just the best age range. They are simply wonderful. Little people who, for the most part, can take care of themselves.

    To me, the age range you describe is the most difficult. Please hang in there!

  14. MonkeyMama Says:

    REading the other responses - I have to agree. So don't leave the house so much. You spend your nights cleaning? Why? Forget the housework. Do everything you can to make life easier during this tough time.

    I said I would NEVER hire help for anything. Not while able bodied. Um, that quickly changed when we had kids. (We hired a gardener, so no worrying about the yard, which we had NO time for, but I am not a neat freak and don't care about house cleaning so much. I just don't spend a lot of time on it. If I were a neat freak? Hired help all the way. IT's only temporary. Things will settle down eventually).

    I have two high energy boys. I honestly don't remember ever taking the kids out, alone (without dh's help). & he wasn't big on it either. I would encourage not to do it if it is that difficult. They'll be fine. Take them out on nights or weekends with a friend or your husband to help. My husband used to do grocery shopping when I got home from work. I mean, we must have had SUPER sheltered kids, but obviously they get out plenty with age.

    I have 2 HIGH energy boys. My eldest son ran off all the time when he was 2-3. The good thing when they are a little older (2 boys close in age?) is that they will play together. Now, they can play together for hours and I don't have to do much but check once in a while to make sure they don't destroy the house. 90% of the time they are totally fine on their own, any more.

    Having them close in age makes it super hard early on, but I think makes it easier as they age a bit. So, all the hard work will pay off?

  15. MonkeyMama Says:

    Thrift - you may also consider more daycare. I was also 100% sure I would never use any daycare, before I had kids. When my eldest turn 1, I Was shopping for a daycare. I completely understand about him needing outside stimulation, etc. That is where a good daycare would come in. (We couldn't afford it until he was 2, but thank GOODNESS we sent him off 2 full days a week. That is when things got easier for us). He needed it and we needed it. For him? 6 hours a week was not enough!

    I would think long and hard about spending the money for your sanity. I think it's sometimes hard to admit that you need help, or to spend the money if you are home anyway. But, the fact is that it takes a village to raise a child. These days, people want to do it on their own. I don't know very many people happy in that situation.

    I do hope at least something I have said helps a bit. I don't mean to go on and on!

  16. momcents Says:


    Can you hire a "mother's helper" or a babysitter in training to give you some relief during the day? Like two eleven year olds who LOVE babies. These girls are often happy to fold towels, unload dishwashers, etc. Ask your neighbors or DH's colleagues if they have neices, daughters, etc. It is a good starting place to offer you some well-needed time to do other things.

    I also wouldn't suggest taking two young kids bowling. I only say this as the mother of five children in seven years. The worst moment ever was when there were only four of them five and under and we were at the top of the Arch in St. Louis. I missed the fact that it had a curved floor and my clausterphobia kicked in during my DH wanting to take a picture. It was a full fledged panic attack right after that -- I've got the picture to prove it.

    Anyhow, it will get better, that said until then here are some options: Have you thought about storytime at the library? Mine has a great program for kids of all ages for 30 minutes, time enough for the older one to listen, etc. Do you have a YMCA where you can check the kids in to the playroom and you can work out? Our Y offers the babysitting for free - your kids can get some experience going out and you can get a workout. Do you have friends who are moms with kids that you can meet at the park?

  17. lilmama Says:

    I have a two boys that are 3 and 1 and I only take them out to the small park in our community or our pool because it's easier to keep an eye on them. If I go anywhere crowded I always wait for hubby to go with me or schedule a playdate so theirs at least one other adult to help keep an eye on the kids. As for the cleaning, I always do it first thing in the morning while their in a good mood. I get their sippy cups and a snack and turn on mickey mouse and they usually sit still for about an hour and I can clean in peace and I don't have to worry about it the rest of the day. The boys have already learned to pick up their own toys and throw away their trash so that's a major help! I also tend to read a lot and I can close up the living room so I don't have to chase them all over and they usually do well playing together now so I don't have to do all the entertaining but I do try to get them out every day even if its a quick trip to the grocery store.

  18. ThriftoRama Says:

    You guys have really helped me out a lot. I felt so alone, but now I realize I'm normal!

    As for cleaning, I only do basic maintenance stuff at night-- load the dishes, put in the laundry and wash the diapers, and clean the bottles. The house is a total mess. Right now, we only clean what we have to to get by!

    I am hoping things will get better soon. Swim, and MM, it sounds like we're raising the same kids. Right now, Bean goes to "aunt's" house 2x a week for 4 hours. When he starts preschool this month, it will be 2 more days a week at 3 hours each, so he'll have a regular activity 4 days a week. This will hopefully allow me more time to freelance and hopefully time to get in a yoga class or something.

    We do have hourly sitting at the gym, but Bean freaks out when I leave him there and cries until I come back. The ladies are never happy to see him come back. I think he's just going through a really "I want mommy" phase. At least, I'm hoping.

  19. Joan.of.the.Arch Says:

    I think having babies more or less two years apart is best for the kids, but worst for the parents! I think you will probably begin to see some relief when your first one hits age four. Four year olds are so into pleasing and they are so full of imagination, you'll love it. Of course your younger one will still need that constant hawk-eyed care, sorry.

    I wish the "it takes a village" statement had never gotten so ruined by politics. When mine was an infant to toddler, I felt very strongly the absence of the village. It felt so wrong, so abnormal to me that here we were sequestered in a bubble of a home all day every day, with little interaction with loving people and really quite plainly isolated from meaningful society.

    Oh, I'll confess. I had one of those placid content-on-a-blanket children. We'd go to the park and he would play only with the pebbles in the playground, not try out the climbing, swinging, sliding, running, and jumping. My child never darted away from me. He seemed to be born thinking the world was a dangerous place and that he should not tempt fate. (A personality like that is its own parenting challenge, though so different than yours.) And as swimgirl says, he stayed true to that through his childhood- introverted, low key, self-contained. It just is who he is, not so much a product of my own parenting. Your own child's high energy get-into-everything exploration is coming from within himself-- not from your parenting.

    But it is your parenting that will keep him alive through it so he can live to cliff dive, skate board the edges of skyscrapers, and conquer the Colorado river on a surfboard come age 18. Wink You are a powerful woman, dear, to keep not one but two little human beings alive when they are so hell bent on innocent self-destruction from the moment they can crawl across the room!

    Even with my supposedly remarkably well behaved toddler, it took all the energy I could muster to take care of him in the way I thought best. I still had to be hawk-eyed, even though he didn't need it nearly so much as many kiddos. It was indeed so exhausting that I wondered how in the world other people could more than one child! Much less more than one really active child.

    Hang in there.

  20. ThriftoRama Says:

    Grandma devastated me today. She retired recently so she could spend more time with her grandkids. She said she planned to help me out 2 or 3 days a week, and take Bean overnight every Thursday. Now, she's waffling. She took Bean last Thursday and he had a blast.

    Today she said maybe I'll take him once every other week. !!!$%#@*$&

    She said, "Well, you know what he's like."

    Yeah, I do and that's why I need your help!!! So much for my career. No extra freelance now, because mom backed out. So now, I make $600 a month before taxes and pay $550 a month AFTER taxes for childcare. Great.

  21. justericka Says:

    i feel your pain. i have 3 children of my own now..who are 18s, 14d, and 12d..i also have a 13 ss. .i was divorced most of the time the 2 little ones were babies...i had alot of help with them by my son..to this day..he is the step in dad for them along with my bf. it is hard...i can remember just sitting in the floor crying with them...lol. it gets better as they get older...because they dont need such careful watching. i have no tips for you...just wanted to say....i know how it feels..and if you need to talk..im here.

  22. creditcardfree Says:

    It will get better...I would look for additional child care. A college student that could come over for a couple of hours while you work during the day might be worth it!

  23. momcents Says:


    Shame on grandma!!

  24. whitestripe Says:

    I was wondering - if your mother has decided to back out of babysitting, maybe you could suggest to her that she help you out around the house a couple of hours a week? Then you might feel like there is a little bit of relief - even if it's not exactly what you imagined in the first place.

  25. whitestripe Says:

    and can I just add - I don't have children, but sometimes I go through stages where I just have no energy to do anything and the house is a complete pigsty too. Big Grin Not sure if that makes you feel any better - probably just makes me look REALLY bad.

  26. KellyB Says:

    Congrats for sharing and glad so many have let you know you're not alone and it WILL get better! But I also wanted to address DH - he DEFINITELY needs to step up more and help out. Designate a "you" time, he stays at home with the kids and you get 4 - 6 hours for yourself. You can do some shopping, etc. if you want, but you have to get OUT of the house or you will get sucked back in to take care of the kids, whatever. So get OUT and let him deal with them alone, he'll realize how tough it is, he'll HAVE to be responsible with them (do NOT allow him to take them to Grandmas's!) and he might actually come to like it. You NEED this for your sanity, to be a better mom and wife you need the time to yourself to relax a bit too. And he'll be a better dad and husband too!

  27. asmom Says:

    You are being way too hard on yourself. It is very difficult to parent children at that age, they drain every ounce of energy just trying to keep them safe! I echo the advice to put them in daycare a couple of days a week. You need some time to yourself and there is nothing selfish about that. You may also want to let the housework go. Can't hubby clean even a little?


    It will get better when they get older but that is years away and you need to be able to enjoy your life NOW. I went through the same thing when my kids were very young, wanting to be home with them all the time and feeling guilty when I was overwhelmed or resentful of the demands of parenting.


    I have two kids. My daughter nearly killed me, she was so high-energy, she had a very bad case of the terrible twos. My son was very much like Joan's, he is a very cautious kid-he is definitely not of those who wants to explore or push his limits. As a mom, that relieves me but I also worry about that also because he need to take a chance sometimes but he won't. You see, it's worrisome on both sides of the coin. Smile
    So to summarize, do the daycare thing a couple of days a week and don't even dare to try to fill that time with being "productive". Just relax and enjoy yourself. You will feel like a better person and they will be JUST FINE. Trust me.

  28. LuxLiving Says:

    I'd be hiding Daddy's toys so he could help OODLES AND BUNCHES AND LOTS OF LOTS more. No play time until he has some of the evening household chores done along side you if he must, but no getting to escape while you work yourself to the bone. Yes, he might have worked hard all day too, but so have you.

    I'd pick a bone with that young man if I were your Mum or M-i-love!

  29. ThriftoRama Says:

    Daddy does a lot around here.

  30. Miclason Says:

    I LOOOOOVE my daughter (yes, she´s an only child) but some days I just need to ESCAPE!!! We all do...you´re not alone! We were talking about it with a friend of mine just today. Her daughter went back to school last week, and she mentioned she was relieved she would finally have some time to work (she works at home).... mine also wrecks my translation schedule when she´s home all day! ....she goes back to school on Monday, Thank God!

  31. PatientSaver Says:

    Does your husband help out with being with the kids when he's home, and/or with housework? He didn't really sound clued in from the comment that he didn't understand why you couldn't relax.

    I'm not a parent, of course, so you can totally discount what I say, but just hope you're getting the support you need from your spouse.

  32. CB in the City Says:

    I had two little boys, two years apart, and the older one was what the family called "a fart in a skillet." My husband worked ALL the time (we were eventually divorced) and I had no help from family members. I thought I would literally go out of my mind, and I felt like the worst mother on the planet.

    I didn't get any relief until I started working part-time (out of the house) when the youngest was two. I didn't make any money after the daycare; I worked to preserve my sanity.

    I tell you this to let you know it is a very, very hard time of life, and it doesn't help when everyone goes on and on about how wonderful it is. Yes, your kids are wonderful, and you love them to death, and you have moments that are off-the-charts joyous, but STILL -- it is very difficult and stressful.

    It will get better.

    Do everything you can to make it less stressful now. I agree, DON'T go out if it's awful; your kids will not be ruined by spending more time at home. Don't compare yourself or your children to others, everyone is different and there is no blame attached. Try designating one day a week as a completely lazy day -- just do the necessities and relax, relax, relax. You need it. It's crucial, for you and for your children.

    My little hellions are now in their thirties and they are both wonderful men, starting families of their own. They have more than paid back in a million ways for all the stress I endured when they were little. Someday you will be there, too, and doting on your grandchildren. Hang in there.

  33. Homebody Says:

    So true CB, my new saying is grandchildren are God's gift to us for putting up with our children!!

  34. pippi.longstocking Says:

    Oh! Sounds like you need Super Nanny intervention. But jokes aside, I wish you good luck.

  35. ThriftoRama Says:

    Hubby wakes up with the kids every morning at 6, keeps them til 8:30, when I take over so he can go to work. He goes to work, comes home at 6:30, either takes one or both of the kids out or helps me with them. He loads/unloads dishwasher and does laundry. But we share those. That's pretty much all we have the energy to do at the end of the day. Thing is, he can't stand to be at home with the kids. He says Bean is easier to manage when he's out running and playing.

  36. terri77 Says:

    Maybe you can suggest that your husband take them out, the three of them, since it's important to him? After all, daddy-son time is very important too.

  37. terri77 Says:

    Btw, do you have one of those little leashes for kids? I used to laugh at them, but now I'd think I'd changed my mind about using them if I had kids.

  38. ThriftoRama Says:

    I tried the leash once. It was a spectacular failure! Bean managed to squirm out of the backpack part of it, and before that, it was extended so far, it practically tripped up a dozen people. Plus, as soon as he hits the limit he freaks out and starts rolling on the ground saying
    "NONONONONONO!"
    The kids is sweet, but he's very opinionated!

  39. PrincessPerky Says:

    It gets better...I think.

    I have 5 from 2 months to 8 years old. And while they are a LOT of work, I find it is easier if I have a plan that I can ignore.

    Your kid sounds very curious and high energy. Two very good things for learning, and growing. And very hard things for moms.

    My personal experience with very small kids is that containment, and entertainment work wonders for a small nap. I would honestly shut the door of the kids bedroom, pull out a big bucket of duplos and sleep while they played. Yep I could sleep with noisy duplos in the background, so long as I knew they were safe sleep was easy.

    Also it seems he doesn't know quite how to behave in public. He might need some solo visits with you short for the sole purpose of practice on how far he can go. if he breaks down in tears remind him you are going home to try again another day. Of course prep him with info before hand.

    IE "We are going to the park, you have to hold my hand from the car to the swings, and stay in the wood chip area."

    So long as you are willing to go home after only 5 minutes if need be. (he is two, pick him up kicking if need be) eventually your visit will be long and fun, rather than short and painful.

    Also, IMO, Pack less stuff, it is better for your back.

  40. PrincessPerky Says:

    Oh yeah, and give up on the house! Unless Hubby wants to join you stick to the basics, laundry dishes and not tripping on the way to check on the kids in the night.

  41. My English Castle Says:

    Oh my, I just read this after returning from vacation, and man, you are not alone. But everyone's right--it does get better. Don't try to handle so much yourself. I got less child care than I needed to save money, and I was a holy terror. And don't sweat the money too much right now--this is survival mode. Get help, get out and go for a walk. I used to read magazines at the library during toddler story time, and honestly, it was the most peaceful part of my week.

    Even those of us with school-age kids are counting the days until school starts.

  42. Thrifty Ray Says:

    I can certainly relate to your situation. My babies were 3,1 and new born...my (now ex) hub considered any assistance 'babysitting'..and he was abusive...so I did it mostly on my own (my mom helped when she could, but he moved me away from my support system within months of the youngest being born)..

    I cut coupons and 'refunded' to pay for a few hours of daycare each week so I could get a break now and then. I took the older ones to library hour and carried the youngest while I looked at books...the library was quiet.
    I met a couple young moms there and we got together for play dates...

    Bottom line...IT GOT BETTER. I am now a gramma...and am very blessed. Try to carve out small breaks. Burning out is not an option...nor is it healthy for you or your family. Take care of YOU so you can continue to take care of them.

    Good luck...

  43. zetta Says:

    My son is also high-energy, and I felt things got dramatically easier around age 3, and easier again by 3 1/2, so it might get better for you sooner than later. At 2 I had to chase him to keep him on the playground, by 3 he had learned to stay on the equipment and I could sit and watch.

    A tip on the leash/backpack: take your son to Target with you and see if he likes any of the animal ones they have. He might be more willing to wear it if he picks it out -- my son loved his monkey backpack/leash.

  44. pretty cheap jewelry Says:

    omgosh! can you stand one more post???

    Mine are now 10 and 12. I remember in the airport changing both diapers at once on the ground (with a double sized mat I sewed myself!) - no matter if one was dry to save time.

    OK---------the secret??

    Get in a mom/play group. There was not one in my immediate area, so I just STARTED ONE!!

    It was a sanity keeper. Just being with other moms with little kids to (mostly complain!) talk and let the kid's steam out every week or more saved me.

    My sis has a 4 year old and she can finally get a bit of free lance art done. Can you imagine?

    And as I told her, it doesn't get easier, just DIFFERENT!! Not as physically exhausting, now more psychologically so. THANKS that mine have learned good judgment and we will be OK with the drugs, sex and alcohol years...RIGHT???!!!

  45. ThriftoRama Says:

    You guys have all been really great. I can't thank you enough.

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