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Archive for December, 2009

New year, new me?

December 30th, 2009 at 06:47 pm

It's been a hard five years. In 2005, our lives hit an oil patch. Our lives changed over night because of a hurricane, so we sold our house, found new jobs, bought a house 1000 miles north.

A couple of months after we got settled my grandmother died. Then, seven months later, grandpa died. I was devasted, but I wasn't through the worst yet.

Six months after grandpa died I found out I was pregnant, then six months after that I found out my dad had terminal cancer. We all just prayed he'd live long enough to meet his only grandson.

When baby Bean was 3 months old, dad died. And when Bean was 11 monts old, we found out he was going to be a big brother.

It's been six weeks since Baby Bean Too arrived. we get 2 hours a sleep a night at a time. Things are hectic with a toddler and a newborn.

It's been nonstop action for 5 years, and frankly, I need to regroup.

So, it's a new year. What better time to at least put some thought into regrouping??

I'll probably post some silly ruminations along those lines int he next couple of days.

Unwelcome Christmas Guest, part two

December 29th, 2009 at 03:45 pm

I made it through Christmas, even though I was powerless to stop Hubby's Horrible Aunt from coming. If you remember my last post, we didn't want her here because she
A. tried to molest my hubby when he was younger
B. is really mean and always makes rude comments
C. is so out of it from medications that she is unpredictable.

So yeah, I won't go into all the gory details about why I couldn't prevent her from coming. I'll just say that even though hubby and his parents don't love her or want to be with her, they feel a moral obligation to invite her for holidays. So we all suffered.

I am putting my foot down: NEVER AGAIN!!!

It was awful. On Christmas morning,she accused me of stealing money from her, while putting her hand in the pocket of my pajamas to look for it!!! Uh what??? I am still fuming over this one. I won't even mention the irrational 15 minute crying fit at 8 a.m. that started off Christmas morning.

After Christmas Eve dinner, she yelled at my mother for "not including" her. I don't know how she felt excluded sitting down eating dinner with all of us, but even so, you do not yell at MY MOTHER and someone who just fed you a delicious homemade holiday meal.

And finally...
She stayed at a hotel not far from us. Of course, she complained about it. She said she didn't feel safe because the phone in her room didn't work. Funny, she called me from that phone at least once a day.

As a result, she managed to convince hubby to let her sleep at our house the last night. We gave up the room where we take turns staying up all night with our 6 week old baby. We made up the bed, then she refused to sleep on it and insisted that she sleep on our new sofa in the living room, even though we need to walk through there to get formula all night. She argued with us for an hour. Hubby didn't want her to sleep on the sofa, and this is awful, because she smells of cigarette smoke. The smell is so strong, our living room smelled like that all weekend, and we didn't want it soaking into our new sofa.

She fought with us for an hour about where to sleep.

I have never been so frustrated by someone in my life. NEVER AGAIN!!!

New gig =$8k a year

December 22nd, 2009 at 11:55 am

I just got a new freelance gig from one of my old employers. One news column a week at $150 a pop, so about $7800 a year if I can get through it. I said yes.

It's hard juggling two babies under 2 but I figure I need to take this in order to stay in the game. It's a lot of work, but I think it will be worth it in the long run.

Plus, in this economy, I don't think it's right to turn down an opportunity to make money.

Unwelcome Christmas guest...God help me.

December 13th, 2009 at 10:24 am

Ok, so I know the SPIRIT of Christmas is kindness and good cheer and all that. I am going to rant about this even at the risk of sounding like an awful person.

This is the first year we are hosting Christmas, with my family and the in-laws together all at our house. That isn't a problem. I was really looking forward to it-- until today.

The in-laws are driving in from New England, which is great.

The problem is that hubby has an aunt who is one of the most unsavory people I have ever met, and she is coming with them. She is super negative and always blurts out rude and offensive comments at every gathering. She is generous, but always with a catch or some sort of weirdness attached to it.

She is a hoarder who lives alone in a house filled with garbage and boxes piled to the ceiling, she is diabetic but doesn't treat it, so she is half blind on pain pills and limping everywhere from the sores on her feet and legs. This means we will have to go extra out of our way to take care of her, even though no on really wants to. (Sounds mean, but it's true)

But the icing on the cake?? She tried to molest my hubby when he was a young teen.

Well, I just found out that she is tagging along for Christmas. It is a big deal because her own family doesn't like her and doesn't want her to come, but they all feel too guilty not to invite her. Basically, they feel obligated to bring her, even though no one really wants to spend the holiday with her, just because she has no one else in her life.

I feel like we are all being made to suffer for her dysfunction and her life choices. And I'm not super comfortable having a woman who put the moves on her own nephew around my two young sons. I don't trust her judgment because it is very clear it's not good.

I know this sounds terribly mean, but you can't possibly know what a black cloud she carries with her. every word otu of her mouth is awful. She is either telling some story about how her mother tolder her she would get raped if she didn't run right home from school (!!!!) or saying that people who do certain jobs are morally reprehensible and dirty ( I had to laugh because on the last visit, she went on and on about how truck drivers are evil...) This woman has been kicked out of church and civic groups for making mean comments! How hard is it to get kicked out of the church choir??

If she weren't such a mean person, this wouldn't be an issue. I can't fault people for their health or their choices, but please, people, be nice. Who wants to hang out with someone who is bitter, dysfunctional, and clearly has some mental health issues?

Opened Bean 2's 529 today

December 2nd, 2009 at 09:03 am

Bean 2's SSN arrived today. That was super fast. So, I opened his state 529 plan today. I am going to fully fund it this month, up to the $2,000 state tax deduction. About $1500 of it will come from savings.

We also have a second brokerage account for the Beans, where we add another $2,620 a year for each of them for college. My goal is also to put 2009 money in for Bean 2. (Bean 1 is funded for the year), with as much coming from regular income as possible. It's likely about half will have to come from the savings account.

Our goal is to have $100,000 for each of them for college when they reach 18. We came to the magic number --$4620 a year-- by assuming a conservative 2 percent return on investment. We sure don't have much faith in the market, do we??