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Can I have a work life and a baby?

September 3rd, 2008 at 06:45 am

I love the bean. He is a sweet kid. But frankly I am really tired of taking care of a kid 20 hours a day. It's mind numbing. The hubby helps out a lot.

I am just really tired because he still doesn't sleep and the sleep training is hit or miss.

But even though I am tired, I want to do work. I feel compelled to make more money and contribute more to the household.

I like my field, and I like making money, I find it fulfilling. So how do I make it work with a baby?

My mother works full time and can't babysit during business hours. I already import my MIL for weeks at a time when I have a huge project to do that requires a lot of hours. But those projects only happen 2 to 3 times a year.

I want to fill in the rest with some part time work, either from home (as a freelancer, which I did before the bean ) or at an office. The only problem with freelancing is I can't have him crying in the background while I am on the phone,and his nap times are so sporadic that it's near impossible to schedule calls when he is asleep.

Is there any way I can make it work? There is no part-time daycare here for babies Beaner's age. And I am not comfortable with full time. (Nor would it work financially)

I could possibly ask two friend to babysit once or twice a week, but I would be limited to the hours their children are in school. And how much should I pay them? I have no idea.

HELP!!!

I need to do something soon.

14 Responses to “Can I have a work life and a baby?”

  1. fruitbowlk Says:

    Try this http://www.sittercity.com/

    Someone should be able to come into your home and help you out for an affordable price. Good luck let us know what happens.

  2. my english castle Says:

    Is there a college or university in your town?
    I'll bet there might be students who would be willing to come in and play with the little bean or a regular, albeit part-time, basis.
    We sometimes use sitters from the university child care service--I know they've been vetted, but we pay them a lot $8/hr. Or maybe there's neighborhood kids who could do this occasionally?

  3. thriftorama Says:

    Mine are the only kids in this neighborhood. We are the younguns. Everyone else is in their 70s or 80s.

  4. scfr Says:

    I wonder if any of the elder folks in your neighborhood would like to earn a little extra cash in their retirement? Perhaps they could come in and keep an eye on your little guy while you got some work done? They may not be spry enough to chase a toddler around, but probably they could tend to an infant, since they probably had kids in their youth? I'll bet you could find some who would really love to do it (perhaps a grandma or grandpa whose grandkids live in another part of the country).

  5. princessperky Says:

    How old is he, and how long before he learns to sleep? my last kid was a non sleeper, he is now almost three, and life is again ok....but I still LOVED yesterday when Daddy took him out for two hours, most peace and quiet I have had since El was born and all three were out for hours.

    Anyway, even though I thought it would never end, UE did manage to learn to both nap and sleep thru the night, so if I had the desire I could do something useful now.

  6. thriftorama Says:

    He's 5 months old. We've started sleep training. It has worked for a few nights, but it is inconsistent.

  7. monkeymama Says:

    craigslist. All my friends swear by Craigslist as far as a nanny or babysitter.

    & look look look look look. I had a hell of a time finding part-time care when my child was just about 3. BUT I ended up finding the most awesome place in the world. Ended up going in-home daycare, but few would fill up a spot with a part-time child. I feel like I found the only place in the county who does, and it turned out to be a good fit. Likewise, I think I suggested to zetta, if you can lock in a part-time spot at an in-home daycare, you don't have to USE all of the time, but it may be cheaper than paying for occasional care. That is what I find. We looked a lot for occasional care since my spouse has random work like you, but it just never really worked. Most people we found online wanted to charge minimum wage whereas the daycare comes out to about $4/hour - since there are other kids and you buy in bulk, etc. ($8/hour, in comparison, was hard to justify - particularly since my spouse's work is largely unpaid at this point). These days my spouse just works his schedule around when the kids are at school/daycare. He's got nights, weekends, naps, and 2-3 days a week. It works.

    Beyond all that, it does get better. When they turn 2 there is a lot more out there. & same with 3 & 4 (those ages just get better - more options). & then before you know it they are in school.

    I notice a big change in my spouse (who stays home with the kids) since the youngest turn 3. Just know this will not last forever - it gets easier. IT might be a couple of years, but it will get easier.

  8. thriftorama Says:

    I would even be happy with $8 an hour. All the sitters on our Craigslist and SitterCity was $10 to $15 an hour, and probably more for a tiny baby. I will ask if any of my friends want to make some extra money and see if they can watch him 4 or 5 hours once a week or so I can get business rolling again.

  9. scfr Says:

    My mom called yesterday (after my first post about possibly hiring an older person to care for your son) ... My sister started back to work (she's a teacher) and had to fill a daycare gap for her 2yo who's daycare had not yet opened up for the fall. For the first time, she hired an older woman who lives in her building ... someone whose children are grown & gone (in the past she has hired nannies, daycare workers on their day off, etc) . It worked out fabulously! In fact, my nephew asked if he could go out with the lady and her dog for their evening walk after dinner (no babysitter charge for that). Sis is really excited because now she has found someone trustworthy who lives so close, has first-hand experience with her own kids, doesn't expect to make a ton of money, is just happy to spend time with a kid again while earning a bit of cash, and who lives so close and possibly could be called on in the future for date nights, etc.

    Good luck to you!

  10. thriftorama Says:

    Today, I hired a good friend of mine who used to work at a daycare. She LOVES babies and has spent a decent chunk of time with mine. I'm going to pay her $10 an hour to come over once a week for 4 or 5 hours. She's between jobs, so it won't be forever, but it will be nice while it lasts!

  11. sillyoleme Says:

    I'm glad you found someone to work for you. And who knows, maybe by the time she goes back to work, your little guy will be sleeping consistently and you can work around him. Good luck! Smile

  12. fern Says:

    well, it wouldn't hurt to talk to your MIL about possibly looking after him more. After all, grandmas love their grandkids and she might be tickled pink that you've asked her to spend more time with him.

    It couldn't hurt. Maybe you could sweeten the pot by offering some kind of modest compensation, might not even have to be money... oops, just saw you found someone already. well, just as a backup, still might want to talk to MIL

  13. thriftorama Says:

    My MIL lives in Vermont, 700 or so miles away, so it's not really possible for her to help on a regular basis. Plus, we don't really get along, so having her stay at my hour for weeks on end is bad enough!

  14. terri77 Says:

    That's great that you found a friend that's willing to help out. Keep looking though, you may need someone on a more permanent basis in the future and you'll know what's out there.

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