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Slinking back to normal

June 30th, 2017 at 02:53 pm

I had my post-op visit with the Dr. yesterday. (We ribbed him a little because he looks a lot like Mark Wahlberg.)

Everything is well. Caught at stage 1= lower chance of recurrence, no evidence of spread, if I can make it through the next five years without getting it again, my chances get even smaller as time goes on. As long as I exercise every day and keep my weight in check, my chances are even lower. That's fine, because I do those things anyway.

So, I guess if you're going to get cancer, this is the way to do it-- surgery and no chemo and boom, done. Feels weird to say that!

I am thankful.

My friends and my mom chipped in a lot to help me, hubby, and the boys through it. I'm lucky to have good and caring and genuine people in my life.

Life is good.

And, I'm getting better every day. I still can't comfortably put on my shoes of pick things up off the floor, but I was able to make the bed, clean up, do laundry and vaccuum today. (Phew! Boys sure are bad at housekeeping!)

I'm also cleared to drive, so I did one short trip to the closest grocery store yesterday to stock us up. I realized, these past two weeks, that hubby only buys snack foods-- not ingredients-- when he shops. (As in, cheese and crackers, rather than meat to make a main).

Normally, I go to at least 2 grocery stores for the best prices, but I didn't want to push it. Besides, I needed a nap after one short grocery shopping trip!

Tomorrow, I'm taking the boys to see Despicable Me 3. I think I can swing it, and it'll make the boys feel that mom is more back to normal.

It's been hard on them, seeing me like this, for sure. DS2, age 7, is more heart on his sleeve about his fears and feelings. He had nightmares about my death while I was at the hospital.

DS1, age 9, is more subtle with his feelings, but I can tell he's been upset and upended by all of this. We've all made an effort to talk to him and let him know he can talk to us, and that this is all going to be all right.

Hubby seems mostly okay, but I can tell the stress is getting to him. It's been hard for him to do all of his jobs plus my jobs, but he's been a good sport about it. We have our problems, like any married couple, but he's really got it where it counts. He knows what does and doesn't matter in the big picture of life. And now that I'm up and around, he's less worried.

I guess I didn't realize my boys see me as "action mom" not "lay in bed mom", and they know I'm seriously not feeling well if I am laying in bed.

We did have a (half) laugh about the in-laws though. Any of you who know me know the big issues I've had with them.

When the flowers started getting delivered, every single one, DH would say "Oh, I bet this is from my mom." None of them were. Nor were any of the cards. He was hurt.

They sent me one email during all of this: One sentence asking what the doctor said about the cancer (the science, not how are you feeling?), and then they spent the other 35 lines asking ME to pray for THEM because they're trying to sell a rental property and are worried the contract won't go through.

Sigh. FIL has had cancer 5 times since we got married 15 years ago, and each time they expected both of us to drop whatever we were doing to drive 1000 miles to their house to be with them while they were in the hospital or recovering. Which we did. They also would call us 10 times a day crying about their mortality, and we'd spend hours on the phone trying to soothe them.

Ha. Last year, the in-laws meh reaction would have hurt my feelings or made me angry, but after this past year, I feel like I know them so much better. I don't think they mean any harm, and I don't think they realize how self-absorbed and unconcerned they are with anyone other than themselves. I certainly can't change that. Oh well!

*
In other news, it was payday, and I'm back to paying bills. $350 for car insurance, plus I managed to pay the $1200 in hospital and ER copays we'd put on the card. The freezer was bare bones empty, too, so I spent $257 on local, grass-fed, free-range beef, chicken and pork from a local farmer. They deliver it tomorrow.

As a result, I wasn't able to put any extra money back in savings to make up for the $8000 we took out to replace the roof. Not happy about it, but we're in survival mode right now, so it is what it is. I could have skipped the meat order, but that saves us on the grocery bill long-term, so...

No hospital bills have arrived yet, which is fine with me. Although I don't like knowing what the bottom line will be, if they filter in slowly, we should be able to pay them out of cash rather than savings.

That would be a relief. So, fingers crossed on that!

11 Responses to “Slinking back to normal”

  1. MonkeyMama Says:

    Consider it a blessing. My in-laws completely traumatized me when my husband had brain surgery. They were too involved. (Which I imagine might happen if it was your husband who had surgery?). I'd appreciate the space. Big Grin

    Anyway, yay for good news!

  2. ThriftoRama Says:

    Trust me. I do appreciate the space!

    I'm still processing what this means for me, and I need solitude to do that kind of thinking!

  3. snafu Says:

    I'm so impressed with your recovery! I'm even more in wonder of your acceptance of the self absorbed attitude of dominant MIL who likely influences FIL's attitude and/or silence. Cheering for you continued success staying healthy and out of the medical go-round.

    I know the importance of moderate exercise and specific diet restrictions/advantages, but caution not to rush and certainly not undertaken to many chores or push the limits. Age appropriate chores are help for all the family team. In awe of your Walberg lookalike surgeon whose sticking skills have likely given you massive benefits. I'm not yet cleared to drive with skin and stitching which while healing, are still ridiculously, pain inducing.





  4. Carol Says:

    So glad you are able to do a few more things-- so you feel more like yourself to both you and the kids and hubby. Too funny that hubby just buys snacks. Mine likes to buy on sale-- even if he doesn't like it.

  5. ThriftoRama Says:

    Mine only buys brand names. (I'm looking at two cans of DOLE pineapple chunks in right now. Seriously? You paid twice as much as store brand???) It kills me inside to let him shop. He spends twice what I do and comes home with virtually nothing useful!

    As for healing, the surgery was laproscopic, so it has a shorter recovery time. They also didn't have to cut any muscle of ligaments, which would have laid me up longer and would have had other implications for my body (like no abs every again!) They said two to three weeks, and today marks week 2. So I guess I'm on schedule. The first five days were really hard. Now, I feel like a person.

  6. crazyliblady Says:

    Kudos to you for being honest with your children about what is going on. When my father had cancer in 1981, I did not even know he had cancer until he died. I just knew that he was "sick" and went to a VA hospital in another state. About 60 days later, he had died. It was very traumatic to me, as I did not get any closure. I did not get to say goodbye.

    I am also happy you are feeling better and are back to doing some normal things. I am happy that your family helped you so much. Congrats for that. I wouldn't be too hard on your husband. He was probably feeling a bit overwhelmed by the whole experience and didn't know what to do.

  7. PatientSaver Says:

    Hugs. So glad you are feeling better. The inlaws are just too much. I'm glad you are dealing with it without getting too stressed about it.

  8. Laura S. Says:

    Glad the recovery process is going well. I am sorry about the in-laws.

  9. CB in the City Says:

    I'm so glad your recovery is going well. And I'm so impressed that you have managed to see your in-laws' selfishness as their problem, not yours. You can't do anything about them after all. Your poor husband, though, he must feel so ashamed and embarrassed.

    Enjoy your appointments with Dr. Walhberg! My doctor looks more like Woody Allen, I'm afraid, but I do like him.

  10. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Glad you are recovering well.

  11. rob62521 Says:

    So glad things turned out the way they did. Glad you are recovering.

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